Wednesday, March 19, 2008 Blessings and curses By Rene Lizada Papa's table
"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter when they themselves have poisoned the fountain."
--Anonymous
HONESTLY I never ever believed that there could be curses running in family bloodlines. I thought that having curses in families was just a lot of nonsense.
Some years ago I attended a seminar in which there was an exercise on the Enneagram. The exercise to determine the history of one's family. One of the participants came to realize after much thought that he had such a violent family. They had a history of criminals.
And in their family, there were so many violent persons. I remember him saying that now he understood why his family had so many quarrels and cases.
It was fascinating to listen to him. It was an interesting exercise but I never really gave it much thought because as I said I did not really believe in those things.
But now I do. I do believe that there is such a thing as a family curse. And the irony of it all is that the family curse is perpetuated by the family members themselves. Our ancestors, our great, great grandparents, our grandparents, our parents and even us are part of this cycle.
Some families are cursed with health problems.
In their families people die of cancer, heart attacks, diabetes. Some are inflicted with Alzheimer's, others have a history of insanity. There are families where members die young. Some families have members who never reach the age of 60.
Still there are other families whose curses are not so obvious which perhaps make them even more sinister and deadly. Some families are cursed with arrogance, others with power. Others are cursed with greed and avarice. Some families are so proud. And there are others whose insatiability knows no limits.
And who is responsible for this curse? The family members themselves.
It is such a foolish notion to believe that our actions only affect us when they in fact affect entire generations. Our sins and our faults have a cascading ripple effect on those who come after us.
Perhaps the sins of the father will not be felt by the father but it shall be surely felt by his children.
Haven't you noticed that the same things happen in the same families? Some families die of the same disease, some families are so greedy, some are so proud, some fall because of heart attacks.
There are families that get stuck in the cycle of violence, in the endless chain of avarice. Some families have born liars while others have so many members who are hypocrites and deceivers.
Some families indeed are cursed and if they do not put a stop to it, then entire generations after them will suffer and die because of what they did and what they did not do.
It is a scary thought for parents because what we do will not necessarily affect us but it shall probably affect our children.
If we are greedy then our children will feel its effects and they might become greedier. After all it is what they have learned from their parents. You do not believe me? Think of those who are greedy, "mata-pobre," and proud. And then look at their children. The children are even worse because they have been brought up that way. There are parents who are liars and manipulators and guess what? Their children are the same. Parents who are hypocrites will most likely have hypocrites as children.
One would think that if a child grew up in a cruel environment one would think that the child would try not to be cruel. One would think that if a child had parents who were dishonest, the child would try hard to be honest. But most people end up being what they do not wish to be.
In fact studies have shown that most children end up inheriting the same bad traits their parents had. In fact some of them even become worse. Think of a daughter who has haughtily proclaimed, "I am richer than my mother." If that statement is not a curse then I do not know what it is. But you do not have to be cursed. You have a choice. It really is up to you. You can be the person who breaks the curse of your family. You can be the first to stand against the might and power of a hundred years or more. You can say No to the plague of your family. You can be different. And how do you do that?
You first have to recognize what your curse is. What your family is cursed with. If it is a sickness then do what you can to avoid it. If your family has heart attacks then watch your diet, exercise. If your family is cursed with pride, then be humble. If your family does nothing but boast and brag, then be humble.
If your family is greedy, be generous. Do the exact opposite. Be the one to break the chain. You do not have to be like your family. You can be free. But be careful because those who will oppose you the most will be members of your family also. But you can be free.
Do it not for your own sake only, but for your children. Release the bondage that may imprison your children. Do it for them and their children. And their children's children. Touch infinity today.
What is your family curse? Know it, identify it and do something about it. In that way the streams that flow from your fountain shall be those of life giving water. And not poison.
