Saturday, May 10, 2008 Tabije: Self-confidence equals success By Ismael Tabije Notions Plus
YOU are only as good as your mind holds you to be. If you think you are dumb, you are. If you think you are destined to succeed, you will. If you start to think of the possibility of being beaten even before the start of a competition, it is almost a sure bet that you will lose.
Always face life with that "I'm-going-to-win attitude." Self-confidence is one very big factor in success. Your ability increases proportionately with your self-confidence. No matter how much actual ability you have, if you don't have the confidence that you can do a thing, you won't be able to.
Want proof? Do you remember a time when you attended a big gathering, say, in the university gym or in a huge seminar hall and you were asked to go up the stage? With all eyes on you, do you remember how difficult it was to walk normally going to that stage? How you felt like you are going to stumble, your feet seemingly bumping each other?
Don't tell me that you don't have the ability to walk. You've been doing that since you were a child! The "daga sa dibdib" (English: nervousness) suddenly made you lose your confidence in your ability to walk.
It's the same with public speaking, with a job interview, with trying to negotiate a business deal and with most other things in life. If you have the confidence that you can get it, then it's not a matter of "if" but "when" you will get it. In that state of mind, all your energies go towards achieving that which you set out to do.
How do you go about honing your self-confidence then? Practice, practice and more practice. There are no short cuts to it.
A few columns ago, I emphasized the importance of public speaking in impressing people -- especially in terms of that very important first impression. Good impression is a big factor for success. Public speaking in this case not only consists of delivering a formal speech but in other forms like being able to present your report in the conference room and being able to argue your ideas intelligently and persuasively.
If you're a student, always participate in classroom discussions. Ask questions if you don't understand the teacher's explanation. If you do this frequently while still a student, you will conquer your lack of confidence early on and by the time you become a professional public speaking will be second nature to you.
Looked at another way, it's better to make all the awkward mistakes while still a student than make a fool of yourself when you are already a professional.
If you are preparing for a job interview, gather a few of your friends and relatives and do a job interview simulation. Pretend that they are your panel of interviewers. Let them ask you anything-the important thing is for you to get that practice and develop that self-confidence.
It's almost the same process for practicing for that business presentation or deal negotiation.
As a civil engineer, I used to be below average in the field of public speaking and writing, just like most engineers. We're just good at pushing pencils and numbers, they say. That all changed when I entered the AIM for my masters' studies. Knowing that nobody ever passes there without participating actively in classroom discussions -- there are practically no classroom lectures at AIM -- I just had to "force" myself to talk.
Sure, it took a while to gather the courage, what with a classroom-full of brilliant graduate students from all over Asia waiting to pounce on your idea and shred it to pieces so they would look good, even at your expense. But after a while, I got the hang of it, gained confidence and I haven't looked back since.
You don't join a bowling, tennis or golf tournament without much practice, right? Don't you think you should do the same with your professional endeavors?
Now go start practicing for your success.
(Ismael D. Tabije is the president of the Rotary Club of South Davao. He has published a book titled, "In Search of Your Own Success," available at National Bookstore outlets nationwide. Email feedback to idtabije@yahoo.com.)
