Wednesday, June 25, 2008 Ampao By Rene Lizada Papa's Table
"The truth about you is what you really are, not how people make you out."
-- Paulo Coelho
THERE is one person that you will never fool, never deceive and never escape. You can fool others, deceive the world but you can never ever run away from yourself. In the end, you will have to face yourself and the reality of who you are. No amount of make up, liquor, self-deception or self-righteousness, power, money, success, fame, glory can ever erase your true self. When you face up to yourself, there is only you, and no one else. Only you.
That is a scary thought and that is why a lot of people do not want to be alone, they cannot be alone because the stillness and the quiet and the truth about them will emerge from the quiet and the stillness.
I was surprised with the reaction of people about my Moving article. A former student told me that, "maaga pa, pinaiyak mo na ko." And that is a male student talking. A former colleague texted me to say that she missed us. And even in the group of the former English department I got a lot of responses. These people and I shared in the journey, the journey of being true to our selves. Because the truth is simple.
We need to be true to ourselves. Listening to the voice in our hearts is not some romantic notion, it is real. And only those who are true and strong can listen to the yearnings of their hearts. There is a voice in us that will not be stifled; there is a longing that shall not be denied. It is the true calling of our souls, the seed that God has planted.
It is that which we must pay attention to and we cannot dismiss it as some idealistic blabber. Unfortunately for a lot of people, they think that what they are is who they are. There is a difference.
And how do you know what your heart wants? I cannot answer that, I only know. Your soul knows it is that simple. And confusing. I guess it is like getting married. You find yourself with a person whom you think might be the one. But when you hesitate you realize that this might not be the one.
And you watch and be aware of your feelings. And then one day you meet this wonderful and magnificent person and then, you know. You just know. You know through your feelings. You never know from your mind. In my experience you find the truth in your feelings and you determine through your mind.
Some call it instinct, a gut feel. But it is something that does not come from the head. It is the same way with the way of your soul, your destiny is revealed through your feelings. So listen to them. "Trust your feelings Luke," Obi wan said. And it is true. We need to trust our feelings because our feelings show us the way.
When I decided to teach that came from a feeling. A feeling that this was what I wanted to do. If I followed my head I would have ended up with the business and judging from what I experienced there I would have been miserable all my life. I did not want to be a part of the business. I wanted to be apart from it. It was just not me.
So when I decided to teach I felt something so different, so wonderful. It was as if a dam had been opened and the waters just burst through. That I never felt when I was in the business. We have to be true to ourselves and it does not matter what people will say of us. As the proverb goes? Those who say do not know, those who know do not say. You do not have to explain yourself when you are true.
With some people it is even worse. Because they have deceived themselves they think that people will believe them, which people will believe in their deception when in truth the only people they fool is themselves. So they go around making up stories, telling tall tales and they think that people believe them.
The truth has a way of emerging from the garbage that people tell about themselves. People whether we like it or not can see through us and no amount of make up, liquor, self deception or self righteousness, power, money, success, fame, glory can ever erase our true self. But some people try.
And you can see them everywhere. They are the loud ones, the frantic, the insecure, the gaudy, the arrogant, they clothe themselves in elegant wardrobes, they smell sweet and they talk even sweeter. But that is what they are at the surface. There is nothing inside. Ampao.
And when the day is done and their manipulations and deceptions are spent, they face themselves. When the darkness creeps into their rooms and their minds they face up to the truth about themselves.
