Wednesday, August 06, 2008 Antalan: Children's stories By Roger P. Antalan Dateline: IGaCoS
CHILDREN have their own favorite stories. Parents too have their own favorite stories about their children and others. It is said that one of the valuable gifts parents can give to their children aside from good habits are good memories. Here are some of those good memories.
Once, I saw a foreigner shopping at one of the SM malls. Tied to her waist was a long nylon rope and at the end of the rope, firmly attached, was her little boy.
She did her shopping without worry and the boy was busy with his toys. Filipino mothers do not do that. But it made sense.
Take the case of a mother who went to the National Bookstore in Cubao, a five-storey building, with her five-year-old son. She started reading and browsing at the book section. After an hour, she remembered she had a son with her and he was nowhere to be found. In great panic, she went from floor to floor searching for the boy. Finally, she decided to call the police. At the main entrance, she saw her son, calmly standing beside the security guard. With a big sigh of relief, she hugged her son and asked, "Son, why did you leave me?" The boy replied: "Papa told me, if your mama gets lost while shopping, don't panic. Go directly to the 'secu' and stay there."
There are memories we remember well when we're young. We were staying then in a little barrio. As a young boy I overheard my father and mother debating whether to send me for an important errand to the town poblacion, alone. Finally, my father said, "Let him go. He can do it." As Haim Genott commented: "If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."
Sometimes the spectacular success of others makes young people happy. A first year high school student in a school run by nuns was caught playing billiards at a nearby hall. He was called to the principal's office and given some punishment. A year later, the school provided billiards tables inside the sports building of the school. That was the year when Bata Reyes and Django Bustamante won international honors. The student, who really loved billiards commented: "I don't understand these nuns, but I'm not complaining."
Even as a young boy, my youngest son loved to join sports competition. When he was in grade six, there were games organized by the different catholic schools in Quezon City. My son was playing for the table tennis team. After the tournament, he came home whistling a happy tune.
I asked, "How did you do?"
"Third place," he announced cheerfully.
"How many teams joined the competition?"
He smiled and said, "Three."
It's always refreshing to see kids happy and behaving well as they grow up. A couple, with three kids, proudly reported that they never had problems with their children on the first days of class, with the barber, the dentist and the doctors. No tantrums. No crying. What was their secret?
"We never sow fear, nor threaten the kids with punishment if they did not behave. We never said, 'God will be mad, the police will arrest you, papa or mama will punish you.'" Always explain in clear and simple terms, using the old formula of TLC - tender loving care.
I admired a neighbor of mine, a rich lawyer. He was a rare bird. He did not play golf, and was not a member of any religious, civic, and professional organizations. He and his wife were always with the five kids -- to the church, outings and travels, at home. All the children were on their study desks after classes. No TV and playing until the homework was done. There was always good conversation between parents and the kids. Today, all the five children are success stories.
Emma Kidd Hulbert wrote: "Parents are prone to give their children everything except the one thing they need most. That is time: time for listening, time for understanding, time for helping, and time for guiding. It sounds simple, but in reality, it is the most difficult and most sacrificial task of parenthood."
Children are a great comfort in one's old age-and they help one reach old age faster too. A mother had four unruly, hyperactive boys. They gave their mother constant headaches. She used to say to the boys: "Mamatay ko sa inyo. Mabuang ko (I will die because of you. I will become crazy)." But she lived up to 88 years of age, praying day and night for her boys, loving them to the fullest. As someone jokingly said: "Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from the children."
This comment is addressed to fathers. Rev. Theodore Hesburgh once said: "If you want your children to love and respect you, love their mother."
Most of us, parents, love to tell nice stories about our children. To conclude, here's one last quote: "Many years from now it will not matter what my worldly possessions had been. What will matter is that I was important... in the life of the child."
