Friday, October 31, 2008 Tacio: Brightest treasures By Henrylito D. Tacio Regarding Henry
"CHILDREN are the brightest treasures we bring forth into this world, but too large a percentage of the population continues to treat them as inconveniences and nuisances, when they're not treating them as possessions or toys," Charles de Lint wrote in The Onion Girl.
Cornelia, the wife of an emperor, was a noble lady. She had two small sons, who were her pride and joy, since she had lost all her other children to an accident. One day, another noble Roman lady came to her house for a visit. The woman was proudly showing off her jewelry to her hostess.
After a while, she challenged Cornelia to show off her own jewels, too.
Cornelia thought for few seconds then pointed to her sons, who had just entered the room. "These are my jewels," she said.
"Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy," Thomas Bray advises. "Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow." Children are bound to commit errors. They learn life as they grow up.
All too often, however, parents turn children away by pointing out only their faults and mistakes.
But a wise parent makes it a point to praise a child when he or she deserves it. "Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it," said Harold Hulbert. In fact, praising a child may work wonders.
Jack Denton Scott, in an article which appeared in Reader's Digest, told of a story of a woman who completely transformed her son's dislike of drying dishes by a word of praise to him.
One night, the two of them were doing the dishes together, much to his dislike, when suddenly he dropped a large meat platter. There was silence after the crash.
Then, the mother looked at him and said, "You know, son, of all the times you have dried dishes for me, this is the first time you have ever dropped one. I think you have set some kind of record."
Fear left the boy's face and he broke out into a smile. Forever, after that, drying dishes was fun. "Praise virtue," a psychologist once advises, "and you will find few vices to condemn."
Have you ever noticed why some children of famous families turn out to be so much more successful than others? For instance, why did Joseph Kennedy's son excel while Franklin Roosevelt's did not?
Certainly, Roosevelt had as good an understanding of power and how to use it, as did Kennedy.
Part of the answer to that puzzle may be found in Franklin Roosevelt Jr.'s remark that an appointment was always needed if he wanted to see his famous father.
One day, the younger Roosevelt had a pressing problem. The two talked. Although the elder Roosevelt was listening he kept on working at his desk. When the boy stopped talking, the father remarked, "Glad you could drop by," and that was the end of conversation.
In contrast, Joe Kennedy had ferocious interest in his children's lives. For all his shortcomings, his loyalty to his children was absolute.
"My business is my family and my family is my business," he said. In an interview, he revealed, "You know, when I was just trying out for the freshman team for some of those swimming meets, my dad was always there. He was always there. He did the same for all the kids."
A friend once sent me a memorandum about raising kids. It reads: "If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
"If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him. If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live."
