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Friday, August 23, 2002
SIENES-DURAN: Friendship
By Letzah Jo Sienes-Duran
RALPH Waldo Emerson once wrote: "The only way to have a friend is to be one."
I must say, at the outset, that personally, I don't consider myself a good friend. Of course, only my friends can judge me for the kind of friend that I am. Last week, I was touched by the gesture of one of my closest friends and confidantes, Luchi Villahermosa-Caballes.
She sent me a beautiful framed picture of a country scene (one of my favorites) with a letter in which was written a touching poem. I meant to ask her the name of the writer of the said poem, but due to lack of time, I have decided to go ahead and quote the same here, with apologies to the author (my guess is Emerson):
"All of us need at least one or two close friends. A small boy defined a friend as 'someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same". A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. A friend is the first person to come in when the whole world goes out. A friend loves at all times. To have someone who remains true to us under all circumstances is one of life's choicest blessings. The only support and encouragement that only an intimate friend can offer is solely needed when the burdens of life weigh heavily upon us. But, of course, Jesus is the ultimate friend, for He laid down His life for his friends."
While in high school and college, I remember having only a handful of friends (I almost wrote friends"). These were friends who I used to hang out with, with whom I exchange silly notes inside the classroom and who laughed at the corniest jokes we cracked, in and out of the classroom.
We wrote both stupid and serious poems that we thought started us on the path to a writing career, but in reality, were limericks that would have made Robert Frost or Emily Dickinson turn in their graves.
We did all sorts of things that teenagers are wont to do. My high school buddies were even with me when, due to a rude prank I played on our Geometry teacher, I was sent to the Principal's Office, much to the embarrassment and consternation of my mother, who at that time, was also a faculty member of my school.
I have never been a friendly person. In fact, people have always misunderstood me for a snob", which I'm not-well, not really. But everyone seems to think so.
Maybe because I have always adhered to the belief, that the search for lasting relationships should not be based on the quantity, rather in the quality of people who we choose to become our friends. We may have a thousand friends, but what would they be worth, if these friends are the kind who stick to you only when the weather is fair, or just because you're beautiful, intelligent and popular, or worse, only when your pockets are full. Mind you, there are millions of qualities of a good friend, however, as a saying goes, "Be slow to fall into friendships, but when you are in, continue to be firm and constant."
I once had a Hallmark card, which had this message, one which I will always remember: "Life without friends is like a garden without flowers." Friends make life beautiful. Without them, life cannot be worth living.
As we mature, we realize that out outlook changes in time that our tastes turn mellow, and our level of tolerance gets higher. We no longer look for perfection in people because we know that we ourselves are far from perfect. Like Owen Feltham, we know that "No man can expect to find a friend without faults; nor can he propose himself to be another. Without reciprocal mildness and temperance, there can be no continuance of friendship. Every man will have something to do for his friend, and something to bear with him."
Finally, may this be a tribute to the many friends I have, who have stood by me, through thick and thin, through fair and foul weather, through all the bad times and the good. Special mention go to my present circle of friends: Gina Bouffard-Elvinia, who, with our same tastes for music and a passion for laughter and wacky jokes, makes "parting such sweet sorrow"; Lingling Hermosa-for our shared love for fake baubles, bangles and beads, and of course, for her sweet concoctions that she is forced to bake for me on credit; Lani Vilan-Sosa-for our mutual love-hate relationship for law and jurisprudence; Lani Infante, with whom I have struck a unique friendship that has flourished despite "being so near yet so far away", and lastly, but definitely not the least, to the person, whose birthday gift, (though belated) became my inspiration in the choice of this week's topic, Luchi Caballes, a friend "who knows all about me, but likes me just the same". |
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