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Friday, June 30, 2006
Lusty books
By Lady Ochel C. Espinosa
ONE romance novelist believes that romance is relevant and that love will save the world. Despite this, a lot of harsh things have been said about romance novels: they are full of gender stereotypes, they have scenarios that are unlikely to happen, and they focus on the romantic side of love.
Well, duh.
But despite the accusations that they lack depth, romance novels are still popular. There are so many titles available in any local bookstore that choosing a lusty book, as the romance novel is known, requires some kind of skill.
The very complicated process of choosing a romance novel to read can lead to several hours of standing, or sitting for the very cheeky, in the romance section of bookstores, when one would rather grab a book and hightail it out there, afraid to be seen with an "unintelligent" novel.
Picky Pick Pick
"To develop the art of selecting a romance novel, there is a guide on how to know if the romance novel you have in your hands should be either " forbidden" or not", says hopeless romantic Reyan Loja, a law student.
Most of the great romance novels or "lusty books" are written by people with names that are so flowery, you would think they belong in the garden. "There are very few of these books authored by the male species, so beware when you find one. It might not be what you think it is.", Reyan shares.
However, romance authors are fond of creating pseudonyms, so it is difficult to know if the book that you are reading is really written by a female or a male. It is best to bear in mind that when one is choosing a book based on the author's name, he or she has to remember to seek out the flowery.
In Graphic Detail
Of course, a lusty book must be filled with sex, because almost bordering on soft pornography, it is a cheap and entertaining piece of art.
Certified Public Accountant and law student Alpha Faith Gandillo says, " Some authors avoid the sex part by describing the deed with "...He kissed and touched her in places she never knew existed, until she felt herself melting into his arms...She woke up the next day with him sleeping beside her." It is a lame description of the most important part of any lusty book or romance novel.
"On the other hand, other authors are so heavy with the descriptive sentences that you feel as if you're reading a medical journal, with clever "flower" and "spear" euphemisms for the naughty bits , of course", free-spirited Alpha Faith shares.
Rule of thumb for good lusty scenes: the books that you must choose should make you feel as if you were the one experiencing the whole bearing of the fruits.
Violent Mood Swings
Almost bordering on manic-depression, the lead characters in the good lusty books have mood swings so violent you would think they should be in a mental hospital. One minute, the heroes are fighting; the next they're getting it on.
"The mood swings are common in situations where the characters are forced to be together - they either have to work to work together to accomplish a goal, or are married through some kind of arrangement.", says avid reader Zsa Zsa Lei Co, law student and CPA.
It is when the heroes are married against their wills that the mood swings are most evident. Although they fight constantly, so mush sexual electricity lingers in the air that they can't keep their hands off each other. " Tension, dramatic or otherwise, makes for good lusty reading." , Zsa Zsa shares.
In Between the Lines
A romance novel/ lusty book must have good dialogue and description. This is one declaration Zsa Zsa, Alpha and Reyan all agree with. Although from my experience, it can not be denied that there are books wherein authors toss in laughable lines such as " Damn you to perdition!" and " Her lips tasted like elderberry wine, her eyes twinkled like dewdrops from the nearby blades of grass...He took her into his arms, her weightless weight resting on his bridge-like shoulders." Pity these books.
Sheeesh!
Even if one reading is only a lusty book, certain standards must still be maintained for it to be considered: literature. Romance novels should not insult one's intelligence. But these standards should not be too high, either.
Lusty books are a brainless form of entertainment: they are books that you read to calm yourself after watching a scary horror movie or when you want to escape from ' reality' for a while. If you ever find yourself reaching for a dictionary while reading a romance novel, put it down. It is not supposed to be a means for increasing your word power.
In Real Life
Reading lusty books becomes a pointless activity if one is not able to learn something from them. Although the climatic first-time experiences of the women described in lusty books might be too good to be true, certain techniques can be learned.
Romance novels not only teach you how to make your lover scream like a banshee; they also teach you how to flirt with the apple of your eye. Flirting styles such as talking to tigers, playing with baby elephants and holding hands with gorillas are sure to catch the attention of your guy. But if these animals are not available, you can always pretend to hate the main in your life - then he will be bound to hunt your down, sooner or later.
On the less romantic side of life, lusty books also give lessons in history. Historical romances give not-quite-accurate details about the first vaginal balls, divorces, the different customs of the various American-Indian tribes in North America and even guides on how to fire a gun.
In fact there are authors who are so into researching history that they include footnotes that detail the background of a historical object, like the condom. Events in history are also described in lusty books, especially if they happened in England, Scotland, or Ireland.
There are also lessons in etiquette, insights into the hierarchy of royals, and rules on how to address authority figures. Although these guidelines must be taken seriously, they should not be considered etched in stone either. There are some excellent romance novels that deviate from the well-known formula of romance writing and these rules may not be applicable to all.
As law students Alpha, Zsa Zsa and Reyan suggest to every lusty book enthusiast, " Just remember, if a lusty book or romance novel speaks to you, pick it up. If it does not, throw it away."
(June 30, 2006 issue)
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