Tuesday, October 03, 2006 The Gifted Child By Jeanne Tan Te
HER full name is Annes (pronounced as An-nes) Angela Ingrid V. Mendoza. But family and friends simply call her Aina. Her birthday is December 29, 1997. She is fond of drawing using pencils and pens. She also navigates the Microsoft Paint software to express herself artistically. She usually sketches her favorite Disney characters and super heroes in both media.
Her interest in computers has also taught her to surf the internet and search for anything that she will find interesting and tries to purchase them online. Like any girl her age, she loves watching Disney movie videos like The Disney Princess, Barbie, American Tail to name a few. She buys these VCDs and transcribes them. After it is printed out, the whole family will have to act out according to the script.
Aina is also into ice skating, skateboarding and wall-climbing. At the age of 8, she can read anything. She can even memorize bible verses up to a chapter. She sings as well with, as her music teacher puts it, "a perfect tone". Every summer, she attends voice lessons and during recitals, she performs an extra song apart from the other kids. She has been doing this for 2 successive years and even sang during the Autism Week.
The special child
Yes, Aina has been diagnosed with severe autism 5 years ago. Her parents, at first, thought that she was gifted or "advance". Her mom, Anna, recalls: "She uttered the words Mom and Dad when she was 5 months. Surprisingly at 9 months, she went in and out of her playpen by herself. At 1 1/2 years old, instead of browsing children's books or colored magazines, she would go through the newspapers like a typical grown up. Little did we also know that she was observing us whenever we use the computer and when she's memorized the sequence, she did it herself. She would open the UPS, CPU, monitor until she opens her favorite Britney Spears video. We rejoiced as she was embarking on a journey far beyond what a normal child would go through.
"Another was the TV. She loved to watch her favorite show Body By Jake and does crunches on the floor while watching it. She just loved doing the exercises and she never seemed to tire. We were so happy just seeing her do the routine everyday. She fixated on a cooking show for vegetarians and the Bloomberg channel. At this point, my sister-in-law observed that Aina didn't talk much, though she would mimic every sound -horn blowing of cars, screeching wheels, opening and closing doors- and hum every note that she would hear.
She thought that there was something odd but did not suspect that something may have been wrong. Upon reaching 2, Aina could change a cellphone's ringtone regardless of the model. I remember my husband's officemate telling him that Aina seems like the child in the movie “Mercury Rising”. She didn't cry to ask for milk but she prepared her own. She didn't talk nor point to get something she wanted. Instead, she grabbed food from other people. Aina easily imitated cooking techniques and cooked her favorite instant foods like pancit canton and microwaving popcorn. Though she didn't talk to anyone, she was able to memorize the first musical tape -- Christian Christmas Songs -- she listened to only once. The 2nd time it played, she was singing the parts with lyrics and humming the musical parts as well. She was singing the whole tape! These gifts were more than enough for us to be proud of her.
"Little did we know, Aina was delayed in some aspects of her development. Way back when she was 9 mos. old, I remember my sister who is a nurse, noticed something was different. She told me to keenly observe Aina, as she seemed to have no eye contact and didn't respond to anybody who would call her by name. I didn't pay much attention to it, thinking even that Aina might even surpass all the achievements her older siblings are enjoying because she started to display more 'advance antics'. When my mom came home from abroad in 2000, she got the opportunity to look after Aina. She told me to enroll Aina in a school because all she did was spin in circles, run around the house without getting tired, bathe for hours and tiptoe while walking. Aina was 3 ½ years old then. The administrator of the school asked us to bring Aina to a developmental pediatrician for assessment so they could give her the proper program. We got the shock of our lives when she was diagnosed having severe autism. From the 14 autism symptoms, she had 13. Almost in tears, my husband reacted, 'But Doc, I think Aina is gifted!', while I kept my tears from falling while listening to the doctor's explanation. From then on, it was an uphill climb as autism they say has 'no cause, no cure'."
Special parenthood
Anna and her husband, Nestor, underwent the same angst that most parents suffer from, upon confirming that indeed, autism has plagued one of their precious ones. Sleepless nights, waking up in the middle of the night crying. And especially because family life centers on their Christian faith, Anna wondered how her daughter would be able to get to know God personally when she couldn't even recognize her parents. She relates, "I felt that my heart has been ripped out.
Where will my child end up, what will her future be, will she cope with the changes when she grows up to be a woman? It went on for 6 months, until pastors and brethren assured us that God's love for Aina is not lesser than His love for us…it's even more special! With that in mind, we have kept a strong faith in the Lord knowing that He gave Aina to our family because of a special purpose and we were determined to fulfill God's ultimate purpose for creating her.
Though wrapped differently, God's amazing grace will help Aina in every area of her life just as He is to us. At first, the condition that seemed a burden became a blessing in disguise as we sensed God's greater presence in our lives. It made us realize how God loves us unconditionally - and this was the kind of love He wants us to show Aina and our other kids as well. Loving not only members of our family who are ABLE -able to give us popularity, power, prestige to name a few- but especially those who are DIFFERENTLY-ABLED. The anxiety became a way to exercise our faith to a God who is in control of everything. Our family and relatives became more prayerful…yes, it taught all of us to P.U.S.H…to Pray Until Something Happens as we journey with Aina in this phase of her life.
"We tried to hire 'good' caregivers. There were some who had good working experience in taking care of children and managing the household but I found out that none of them was honest enough. If I came home from work and saw my child who does not talk with a bruise, I would naturally ask the caregiver first. And yet, they would say they did not know how it happened. So I told myself, it was something to worry about. Endless praying and waiting happened but to no avail. I told God how we needed to sustain my job as financial needs will be doubled because of Aina's condition. However, as I prayed about it, I told Him to limit me with choices, if not, to leave me without any, as I wanted to discern which way He wanted me to take. And He answered me with no choice, but to leave my job, stay with the kids at home and trust His ways."
Anna became meticulous in personally teaching Aina to the point of keeping a record of her progress. She researched. She took advantage of Aina's inclination to music by using nursery rhymes to teach objects etc. She was also blessed to have met a very dedicated and generous therapist by the name of Amanda Benebese or Teacher Bona. Beyond these, Anna says "The Lord has provided everything in amazing ways, and enabled my husband to go to the United States to attend an Autism Conference. There, he was amazed at how extensive the researches were in autism. Parents who attended were very much knowledgeable of ASD. New interventions and treatments were also introduced and proven effective as well.
He brought some of the materials to the Autism Society of the Philippines and directed them to the website of the organizer of the conference. We opted to put Aina in a dietary intervention that has proven to be very useful in her condition. Together with this intervention, we have enrolled her in occupational and speech therapy. She was able to develop very good eye contact, became less hyperactive, was able to talk in 3-4 word sentences and followed 2-3 word instructions at 5 yrs. old. This time her favorite shows consisted of cartoons, educational children shows and the Meteor Garden like that of a regular kid her age. She learned to mingle and play with her cousins who are younger than her.
Every 5:30 PM, I observed that she would peep through her right eye looking up in the sky and will come running to watch Meteor Garden. She seems to know the time without looking at the clock. Until now, even if she knows how to tell time, she does not bother to look at the clock but just goes to the TV to view her favorite shows on the time it will exactly start.
"Now at 8, Aina speaks and converses in whole sentences. Though like any ordinary kid, there are times that she does not want to speak to anyone. There are times that she wants to play by herself. At other times she plays with her cousins imitating their favorite princesses and computer game characters. She does more of imaginative play now. Regularly, she attends birthday parties and participates in their games when before she used to isolate herself from the crowd. We can now leave her in homes other than ours even for days -my parents' house, in the company of her titos and titas- especially in cases when we have to leave the kids for a number of days. People who have looked after her would just give good praises for her for being a good girl who follows easily, understands explanations in case she can't get her way. In fact, she consoles her playmates to stop crying when they have tantrums or cool down the anger of older people by saying caringly, “I don't want Dad to be angry. I am sorry. I just had a bad day.”
God’s living miracle
"Aina is not yet fully recovered, but she is very far from the Aina we had 6 years ago.
Doing everything for them maybe good, but may not be the best. Life with them may seem to always throw us in curved balls, unexpected difficulties and a lot of stress that we have to stretch out and adapt to. Reasons why we feel exhausted, frustrated, dismayed and angry at times when we seem to be not getting the best results we want to see or have. As we stand beside Aina through her journey, we can see how God is leading us to every step she takes.
We are here to guide her as parents, go wherever God leads us, do whatever God wants us to do to maximize her potential and be able to fulfill the purpose He intended her to serve. We have learned to trust in God and wait. Trust that He knows clearly what He is doing in our daughter's life and our life and we just need to discern what that is. We have accepted the fact that first, the truth is that God knows all. Second, the truth is that He sees all. And third, the truth is that He is in full control of our lives. God is the Master Planner and it is only in surrendering fully our concerns to Him, will He be able to act on it.
"With amazing grace from a living and loving God, we believe that miracles still happen!"
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