Wednesday, October 04, 2006 Welcome to the dollhouse By Lady Ochel Espinosa
WHILE going around the malls of Iloilo City one might happen to glance up at the sight of a bevy of legs and skin. A crowd of young beauties striding in a catwalk towards the different aisles of SM City or Robinsons Place, Blue Jay or Coffeebreak, although familiar to mallrats and coffee enthusiasts, does usually catch the eye of many newcomers.
Hair curled to perfection, make-up smoothed to complement their skin tones, and slinky summer outfits fitted against their slender frames-the only difference is that these "ladies" happen to be men.
Playing With Dolls
Homosexuality in the Philippines is not uncommon, although it was only recently that gays have become more open about expressing their sexuality. The "coming out" of male homosexuals in recent years has helped a great deal in the acceptance of the "third sex," which in turn helped develop a self-confidence among these gay men. As the figures began to grow, so did the family that began on a small cement bench, a place that eventually became their home.
The origins of the dolls, goddesses and self-proclaimed athenas can be traced to their respective high school, college, or whatsoever environment clique. Mike* a.k.a. Mikaela recalls, "Sang hs pa na time naging barkada kami ng mga girls at gays. Tapos, padamu na kami nga padamu agi sa grupo. Eventually, na-overpower na ang mga girls."
Mikaela talks about how other gay groups would dub their group "The Pink Club", " The Flower Ranger", "Happy and Gay" until they themselves finally decided to give their crowd an official name.
After plans and preparations for a launch, complete with customized invitations delivered to other gay friends, a ribbon cutting, a decked buffet and a welcoming program, their group was named "The Dolls," an informal organization complete with food and program committees.
While "The Dolls" continues to remain a group for planning events, gossiping, and meeting friends, the members know that their opening was only a small step that gave a window of opportunity to other homosexuals who had yet to find their place in this world. The Dolls readily welcomed everyone who needed friendly faces-not necessarily gays-and helped those who wanted acceptance from others. However, the members are aware that the real key is to first accept oneself; otherwise, no one else will.
Mikaela recounts, "In my experience, in high school, I was still a bit in denial. It's better now because I've accepted that I'm gay. Sometimes, homosexuality and acceptance is not only about the people around you, but about yourself."
Free As A Bird
Most of the members of "The Dolls" were still trying to figure out their sexuality when they were in high school. They claim, though, that college helped them become more expressive of themselves since they feel that college students are more mature and understanding when it comes to issues about one's sexual preference.
Kyle, a.k.a Kyla shares, "Siguro since most of us have been "out" since high school, parang nakasanayan na rin ng iba that we're gay. Now, in college, mas dyutay na ang indi pa sanay sa amun, and we feel na nabaton na kami in a way."
But the open-mindedness of their peers and the people around them are not the main factors why they are now more at ease. Kyla explains that personal maturity on their part was the main reason. "It's more because there's this feeling inside us na wala na kaming pakialam. Because it's true, if they can't accept it, then leave." He continues, "But that hardly happens anymore especially on nowadays."
"It's funny though, kasi sometimes they call us 'bakla' to insult us. Pero siyempre wala kami nainsulto because true naman e." Mikaela amusingly agrees, "Biskan hambalon mo bakla ako o babae, okay lang kasi totoo. It doesn't affect us."
Richard a.k.a Rica laughingly remembers his encounter with a child. "He would point at me tapos gulpi lang sya suminggit, 'Agi!Agi!' Pinalapitan ko tapos sininggit ko sa iya, 'Tiyanak!Tiyanak!' Nahadlok tapos dumalagan!Hehehehehe!"
Nelson a.k.a Nelita adds, "In high school, you learn the truth. When you are in college, you learn to accept and be proud of your being gay."
Special Treatment
Although instances of discrimination are not as rampant and critical as the ones reported in other schools or places, it is undeniable that homosexuals are still treated differently.
Rica relates how he would hear people whispering whenever he enters the men's comfort room. Another incident he found more amusing than insulting was the reaction of a former teacher in Humanities who had trouble believing that his real name was Richard.
Mikaela, however, has a different story to tell. "The teacher was trying to be extra nice to me. Kisa, as much as I don't want to be discriminated against, I don't want special treatment."
Aside from being singled out at times, there are stereotypes and preconceived notions about homosexuals that the group wishes to clarify.
John a.k.a Jane says, "There are some people who don't believe I'm gay. They tell me that I'm just trying to fit in and that I'm trying to be gay, just because my friends are gay. But I am gay and that's who I really am."
On the other hand, Rica and Kyla agree that girls approach them more easily than males who are heterosexual. "We're more open and understanding and the girls find it easier to confide in us," Kyla explains. However, Jane dismisses the prevalent notion of being scary or intimidating. "There are stereotypes that say na pag bakla, mataray. It will always depend on the person."
The fact that "The Dolls" study in a Catholic university that used to serve as strict grounds for enforcing dress codes and following Church doctrines on homosexuality. Kylaattests to this, citing an instance during his Theology class where they discussed homosexuality in the Christian point of view. "Siyempre I have a problem with many things that they say," he admits, "but who are we to reason with doctrines that have been there for so long?"
Rica adds, "It is up to a person how he wishes to judge us."
However, as the years progressed, "The Dolls" began to notice that the society has become more liberal. "Now we can wear spaghetti straps and whatever we like," Kyla explains. "The open-minded people accept us now and respects our rights."
Gay and Proud
The Dolls believe that their generation breeds men and women that make decisions with liberated minds and no conditions. They believe that their peers are mature and understanding enough on issues regarding homosexuality. This, according to them, has given them the confidence to walk on campus grounds without the fear of being taunted. "I expect fair and rational attitude from people I associate my self with. They should know better. We may be gay, but we're still people. Respect us as people."
"From others we really don't care, if they discriminate us, but from our friends, we know that they know better. It would hurt more to be discriminated by them," Jane says. The members of The Dolls wish to be examples of people who have come to terms with their sexuality and have accepted themselves for who they really are. "Huwag na kayong magtago o mag-deny, tanggapin niyo na ang tunay ninyong pagkatao at huwag na kayong matakot," Kyla advises.
Truly, these dolls are living proof of their message. And as Nelita would announce with much vigor, "We're here and we're queer!
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