Wednesday, January 10, 2007 Te: Beautiful Things By Jeanne Tan Te Flavors
EVERY New Year brings about renewed hopes and a deep reflection of what has been or still needs to be achieved in the past. I have reason to be thankful for a number of beautiful things that happened in 2006.
My son, despite being afflicted with autism, is now in Prep. He will be graduating from preschool this March. In the last four years, I would often wonder what my son's voice would be like. Would he ever be able to call me "mama"? Would he even know what I am in his life? Seeing him in a school uniform was a distant dream. Now, even if he is not at par with the rest of the class, he can definitely do academic tasks within his developmental level. Hearing him call me "mama" remains to be the sweetest thing that he will ever say. Next week will be his 7th birthday and his first small party celebration in school. His teachers are even more excited.
I have rediscovered myself. I restored my faith and finally found my inner strength. I've started wearing lipstick. At times, I would clip on a neon-colored strand on my hair.
I'm still struggling financially but my life has been enriched with people who have showed us - particularly my children - real generosity. I only met most of these people last year and I hardly even know them. Some, I haven't even met personally. Yet, they never displayed any second thoughts of sharing their sincere prayers, moral and material support.
I wasn't able to fully pay my chattel mortgage but the credit company was kind enough to extend my loan.
I rediscovered my love for music and dance. I thought I have outgrown my youth's passion. But music and dance have proven to be very vital to my identity and strength. Half of my PC's memory is populated with MP3 files.
I finally know what I really want in my life. For the first time, I actually have a plan for my future. I don't want to grow old with a song in my head that goes "Got up early, found something's missing... No one else sees but I got stuck, and soon forever came. Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see. What's done is done, this life has got its hold on me. Just let it go, what now can never be. I forgot that I might see so many beautiful things. I forgot that I might need to find out what life could bring."
Probably the best thing that happened to me last year was knowing Anna. My friend Anna and I will always be bonded by the gift of faith - faith in God. She was responsible for bringing back my trust and unwavering belief in a God who heals, guides, and keeps you whole and strong despite all the odds.
I may not have the most precious possessions. I may have acquired a wrinkle or two. I may not have a prestigious career. Heck, I may not even be able to grow back my sensuous breasts but I am quite certain - that when things go so bad, or whenever I feel ugly, old and worthless, God loves me - no matter what. And you, too. (Te writes for Sun.Star Iloilo)
