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Friday, October 08, 2004
San Pedro: I stormed the gates of heaven
By Art San Pedro
THE last week of September 2004 was the most tension and emotion-filled moment in my entire life. Never have I been under this duress all my life. The 3-month bout of my wife Baby J. San Pedro against a chronic liver problem took its toll on her last September 26, 2004, 1:30 p.m., Sunday, at the Makabali Memorial Hospital. She was only 56.
The cute little teenage girl I got infatuated with in my teenage years, whom I ultimately fell in love with and whom I wed and bannered my family name San Pedro 32 years ago, is gone. The cute little girl from Betis who shared life with me for 32 years under the best and worst times of our married life is gone, never to come back again.
This day on, I have to live only with fond memories of our matrimonial union. I will miss her! I lost my wife, my children lost their mother, my grandchildren lost their grandmother and the San Pedro family lost its muse. The light that illuminated the family is gone, too. I did not realize that the sunset of her life would come too soon.
Not a few people who know my family expressed shock and disbelief over my wife's untimely death. For quite a time, I am the patient and she was my caregiver. I am afflicted with diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol and poor eyesight while she has no medical record whatsoever. The last time she was confined in a hospital was more than 18 years ago when she gave birth to our "bunso" named Ninoy. Since then, she never got sick even from ordinary fever or flu. Baby was so healthy, vibrant and full of life.
Baby got sick only on the month of June 2004 and her bout with the liver problem lasted for only three months. Not even in the wildest dreams of the members of our family did we expect that she would succumb to this problem.
Baby has left me many memories. She gave me three children - Bong and Ninoy who are very wonderful children, and King who is a "special child." She left behind two grandsons. Noel, a lovechild of King, we treated as our own child. He would call Aling Baby as Mama and me as Tatang, and his natural father King as Daddy. Noel will be five years old this December and studying as a day care pupil in Bacolor. The other grandson is "Clinton," William Jefferson in real life, the son of Bong and Heidi. Grandma Aling Baby treated these two little angels in the family as the apple of her eyes.
When I brought my wife to the Makabali Memorial Hospital last September 24, Friday, she was in high spirits. She even exchanged jokes with Dr. Vicente Balatbat and other nurses. There was no indication whatsoever that she would pass away in the next two days.
I was at her side all the time, together with our Ninoy. She drew her energy from us. When her liver problem was taking its toll on her and she was on the verge of dying, I prayed so hard in her room and at the Makabali Chapel, as if the whole world downed on me when she was dying. I stormed the gates of heaven pleading to our Heavenly Father to give her another chance. When she was already clinically dead, I risked my last ace by sending her to the Intensive Care Unit. In a matter of minutes, she died. I have accepted her death in the spirit of our Christian faith. I have reposed her fate and soul to our Lord.
Her departure was painful for me and the transition where I am in is even more painful. There is no transition that is short and painless. It is always long and painful. After her death, what melts my heart is her conspicuous absence from the breakfast table in the morning.
Now, after office hours, I have no one to call or to talk to. I would not expect anyone to comfort me and I have no one to console either. But thanks, I have my children and grandchildren to offer me that extra leg. I am also fortunate to have minions of friends who offered me their broad shoulders to cry on during my moment of grave duress and emotional bereavement.
I do not know as yet the message of Baby's death. All I know is that God must have a good purpose. For the remaining years, days and hours of my life, I shall consecrate myself to search for that message. Once I discern it, I shall obey and oblige without rancor, reservation and evasion. I shall face it with all my heart like a true Christian soldier of God. My wife's death made my faith intact and stronger.
God did not abandon me in my hour of grave crisis and torment. Despite my weak body, my spirit was so strong during my ordeal. Even in the last few breaths of my wife, I was giving detailed instructions to my relatives Conrad and Hilda Sanchez. These instructions were executed up to the time she was buried at the Bacolor Municipal Cemetery.
There are more widows and widowers in this world. Adjusting to my new role as widower is not easy but it is doable. While I do not deny the sorrow and shock that still engulfs me at moments, I do realize that life must go on. I have my obligations to my Ninoy and Noel. Mountains of obligations and challenges continually come my way in the office. There is still that big demand for quality and meaningful opinion writing in Sun•Star Pampanga. There are small business problems to be faced and decisions to be made. There's that eternity of activities waiting for me.
Many friends in government and public service have come to unburden me from my heavy cross during my hour of bereavement. I will not name them anymore because they are quite many. But deep in my heart I thank them.
When my wife died, nothing consoled me more than the thought that I have so many friends who aside from our relatives showed genuine concern. In the name of our family and for and in behalf of my wife Mrs. Primitiva "Baby" J. San Pedro, thank you very much.
Dacal pung salamat!
(October 8, 2004 issue)
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