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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Gueco: From rock to a Narcissus flower
By Malu Gueco
ASLAGAN
What a beautiful morning to start this writing adventure! Mynah birds are merrily chirping, Aslagan (sunrise) spreads its warm light across my desk, likewise, a longganisa breakfast punctuated by a steaming coffee cup awaits my daybreak appetites. This is Paraiso (Paradise) beyond all my imagination.
Come! Join me in this flowing happiness as I start today - September 17. Cozily stretch your back on an easy chair; lovingly raise your hands in grateful anticipation; open your mind to clear insights stored up and embedded in our earth's terra firma; ultimately, you and I are one in our quest for knowledge. Hmmm... let's see here. Looking out the bay window, I distinctly observe the green, red and violet flowers waving their heads on the garden.
Yeah! They are a marvelous sight.
Omigosh, what is this I hear? Miracle of miracles. Why, it is the voice of Mother Gaia (Nature). She is gently whispering on my ear........"recall, reminisce and remember to write about the Narcissus flower!"
Mind-blowing are Her sweet inspirations as our Mother Earth embraces our hearts with her words of wisdom... Vamos! Let us listen to Her call and heed her message. Gingerly, let us step on the pathway of the flowerbeds and with wild anticipation peek into the core of the famous myth of the Narcissus flower.
The Legend
Narcissus was the son of Cephissus, the river god, and the nymph Leiriope. When he reached the age of 16, everyone recognized his ravishing beauty, but he scorned all lovers -of both sexes- because of his pride. The nymph Echo was hopelessly in love with him but she was hindered by her inability to initiate a conversation. Eventually Narcissus rejected her. She wasted away in her grief to become a mere voice.
A young man, spurned by Narcissus, prayed that he would love himself unremittingly. The goddess Nemesis answered this prayer by arranging that Narcissus would stop to drink at a spring on the heights of Mount Helicon. As he looked in the water Narcissus saw his own reflection and instantly fell in love with HIS SELF IMAGE. He could not embrace his reflection on the pool. Unable to stand up and to tear himself away from his mirror-like image, he remained in that same spot until he died of starvation. But when they looked for his body, no remains were ever found.
Instead they found a Narcissus flower in its place.
This legend came from the exemplary writings of OVID. What a tragedy to behold, specially, when, a person falls in love with himself or herself with a complete disregard for other people.
Lessons
Are there wise lessons from this myth? Yes, I believe so in my hearts of hearts. Thus, let me present my insights as follows:
First, beware of inflexibility, rigidity and severity.
Like a marble rock, persons with a narcissistic tendency, stand on the stronghold of one-sidedness. All he or she obeys is her self-delusion and fantastic grandiosity. Her/ his common thoughts run in this pattern.
"I know best... I know it all... How dare you not follow my instructions... My will should prevail... I have no need of you... I am superior than all of you combined... Why are you a miserable weakling..."
Whew! What a complex being they personify. I have met persons with these traits in my family. What pain, harm and toxicity I felt. Thanks to my Goddess, I was able to overcome this woundedness at the hand of a narcissistic person.
Now in my middle life, I realized this truth. She herself was wounded and needed healing. She suffered from the early death of her father and felt completely abandoned by kin and kith.
Second, a narcissistic personality lacks empathy, compassion and loving expression.
Just like Narcissus who fell in love with his own image, a narcissistic person only seemingly cares for himself/herself. They cannot feel nor acknowledge the harm they are inflicting and imposing on their partners, spouses and/or children.
Thereto, in their working world, they cannot adjust to the team. They are beyond the rules of the company and/ or NGO (non-government organization) they are working with.
Most of the time, they simply fly from one job to another. They have difficulties in being a team player.
Third, in case of prolonged self-absorption resulting in harmful personal and working relationships, consult a psychiatrist.
A crisis or a jolting life accident often opens the door to healing.
Mates leave them, bosses fire them and their grown-up children abandon them. Thus, they seek the help of professional counselors. Or in some instances their own family members drag them to the psychiatrist door to initiate their healing journey.
What is essential is that they recover from their illness.
Finale
How piteous are people who have narcissism. I just hope, pray and advise persons who want to help them to go for counseling and/ or psychiatric sessions. Since these sick people are emotionally crippled individuals who need to find love, security and assurance, at best, a long-term healing process is warranted.
Akin to the legend of Ovid, a person who uncovers, digs up and finds a cure to this malady, unlocks the gateway to recovery. Once freed from the chains of self-absorption, they become the opposite of their former emotional selves. They transform into the epitome icons of sharing, caring and loving. Their soft, tender and gentle petals spreading a scent of wondrous compassion.
HAVE A HEALING DAY WITH YOURSELF AND FAMILY!
(September 17, 2006 issue)
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