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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Mercado: Yes to older women
By Ram Mercado
First Person
INVETERATE playboys, usually married, have a general preference for younger women.
The young girl, naturally, is attractive because of her youth and responds quite well with male cariño due to her overflowing hormones.
What I know about aging men is that when they go to Max's Fried Chicken, they always order spring chicken; that explains their choice of the younger specimen over the layers.
A widely held maxim at the Monday Club is that its members believe in the concept of "batang daga sa matandang pusa."
I think the saying is now the fifth test of Rotary: "Bata pa ba?"
With this mindset among the senior citizens and even those in the younger age bracket but who make a fool of themselves running after 19-year-olds, there is a growing market for younger girls.
If you chance by a corner beer-karaoke joint, you will find an aging Lothario in a straight cut Jag jeans, his tummy overstretched by beer, singing to a young thing by his side. The karaoke bar is now the modern fountain of youth, with younger girls cozying up to men who could be their grandfathers.
Young men of marrying age, who are playing the field without fear of delayed menstruation and STDs, enjoy bachelorhood and with no thought of marriage. The educated ones, especially, say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." From hot mommas, of course.
There are equally enlightened women, mostly college graduates and with careers who counter, "Marry? Why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"
Like Andy Rooney who provides the following food for thought, I value women over 40.
A woman over 40 will not lie next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If she does not want to watch a basketball game on the TV, she does not bitch about it and will do their own thing - texting her friends and associates.
A woman over 40 knows the secret of a lasting affair - she is tight-lipped about it and does not create scandals for her man. This ability to guard a secret is what also makes priests - forgive me Father - attractive to women, and great lovers, too, except when some of them renege on their financial obligation.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be self-assured as to who she is, what she is, and what she wants and from whom.
She does not pick your pocket, too, like the young girl who has the perpetual problem of an ailing parent, and younger siblings to support in school. Most of her kind formed a group called SBP (Samahan ng mga Babaing Pasalod) whose addiction to texting they asked older men to shoulder. I can make "pasaload" in five seconds, try me.
Women over 40 are dignified. If they get jealous they seldom have a screaming match with you while eating your Jollibee burger or while in bed. If you deserve it, they will kill you if they think they can get away with it. A rat poison will do the trick.
As they age, women become good mind readers. She knows your sins even before she threatens to cut your pleasure road with a Swiss knife. Better sleep with face lying down as a precaution.
The same woman does not care if you have a network of wrinkles on your face and white hairs, or does not perform like a brand new machine. She understands even if you have "loose compression".
Older women are forthright and honest. They will tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. As long as you come on time, she does the same, excuse the pun. She can take it like Mr. Garci.
She does not mind introducing you to her friends without fear of losing you to one of them. She does not care less if you are attracted to her pretty friend because she knows her friend won't betray her.
Like an older car, she can take you to your destination despite the bumpy ride, and easy to drive because she is quite predictable.
If you get them older, like most wise guys do, the maintenance is not expensive. While the young girls demand a joy ride quite often, the older model prefers to stay in the car barn most of the time, requiring only a periodic service and regular oil to keep her moving.
If the affair lasts, the man has to decide on what is more expensive - adult diapers or winged pads.
The Congress guy with the rabbit ears calls it "win-win situation".
(September 20, 2006 issue)
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