Sunday, April 27, 2008 Gueco: Black Shadow Power By Malu T. Gueco Aslagan
RRING......rring.........rring... sounded off my cell phone in the middle of the night. My how insistent was my best friend Sophiam in trying to contact me.
"Why are you calling me up?" I sleepily and grouchily asked.
Her voice shaking with fury, she replied, "I just blew my top this morning. My assistant Anna simply could not implement my simple instructions... I asked her to encode my article for the We Care magazine, which is printed at Loyola Heights, Quezon City. Imagine when I saw the printed copy, it was full of mistakes and spelling errors."
Shooting up like the heat of the summer sizzle, my temper blasted across the ceiling, I wanted to throw an ashtray at her and my voice quavered in violent tones...
"Anna what are you doing? Can't you follow my simple directions? Grrrr... pronto correct these pages. Since this morning until tonight... I am seeing red and seething with anger. I cannot even sleep. So my friend, Malu, please give your comment?"
I replied, "Okay, now that your disposition is calmer, may I share with you my two insights? One, your anger is a natural reaction to the situation. Excellence is a standard we do not comprise in our writing career. However, its intensity and duration, it seems from morning to midnight is a matter of concern. It only can come from the shadow side of your personality."
"Second, when peace has descended in your office, then, serenely explain to her about your source of anger. Talk to her in a peaceful tone and then repeat to Anna your instructions about the encoding work instructions. Okay now drink a cold glass of milk and return to your sleep."
Thus, ended our short conversation at one o'clock in the morning.
Shadow Self
My friends, as we observed from the case of Sophiam, you and I have an important component in our personalities -- THE SHADOW.
In times of anger, hurting tensions, hurts and stress, it can come out in blistering disarray.
We have materials within our thoughts and emotions that provoke blackness and negativity. Fear or anger, the shadow provokes us to explosive ways of expressions.
Like the volcanic eruption of Mt. Pinatubo, Sophiam spewed out her real feelings and affects. Thus, she exposed her true sentiments to her assistant Anna.
I am sure after this outburst, the two of them will find a way to effectively communicate and dialogue about their working style.
Particularly, when the cloud of calmness has descended on their working place, they would learn to speak to each other with respect, responsibility, and reliability.
Hopefully, they can be one in amiability and harmony.
Carl Jung
Who first coined the word -- shadow?
The famous Carl Jung (father of analytical psychology) unleashed to us the contents of this behavior.
Believing firmly that the shadow is a doorway to reality and fullness, he praised its value and wrote about its effectiveness.
He said the shadow is a companion to each one of us who gives us the completion, totality and balance in living.
Comparable to the daytime, it is the night hours of our dark dreams: akin to the color white it is the counterpoint of the black color tone: ultimately, the shadow completes the personality of the human person.
In Sum
Experiencing, exploding and exploring with our so-called "negative" emotion can be one pathway to healing.
When we let go of our irritations, we give vent to our secret displeasures. Thus, we are able to come face to face with our shadow.
Consequently, this shadow or black side of our psyche / mind can be changed into a positive quality. Our attitude, behavior and action are transformed.
Anger becomes assertiveness: it opens up our zone of pains: eventually, we cry "OUCH" because we were hurt.
However, in cases of recurring and intense violent episodes, I advice you to seek counseling.
A kind counselor can walk with you on the GATEWAY OF HEALING to unlock the source of your endless explosions and face your shadow personality.
