Sunday, June 29, 2008 Gueco: Your choice By Malu T. Gueco Aslagan
"AFTER the kids leave home, some parents suffer from the empty nest syndrome; others change the locks!" Anonymous.
Zooming by our sight are our children who fly away from our family home... as they mature... disappearing from view as they soar up to their new dream world.
My, my, what is happening here?
Shaking our heads in disbelief, we raise our eyebrows and ask, "where did the years go?" "Why are the times changing?" Tsk...tsk... Don't worry my friend, you have just crossed over to a new time zone.
You have opened the magic door with fiery red lights flashing "MIDLIFE... MIDDLE AGE... MIDDLESCENCE!" Voila! You and I are part of this evolving, energizing and enthusiastic age group.
If you are between the ages 36-60, surely you are a "midlifer." Come on down.
Challenges
Our midlifers' generation is confronted with the doorway of challenges that needs to be rediscovered.
I believe that dynamism, flexibility and courage are the answers these developmental challenges. Living a life of compassion, core truthfulness and caring is the call of this age span.
Together, let us unlock the portals of productive work; loving relationship with ourselves; authentic connection with our significant other (mate, spouse, partner, lover) and allow our children the space to sow their own seeds of independence.
You have the power in your hands to respond to the challenge.
Crisis
Know what?
Like the cycle of nighttime and daylight, middle age paints both white and black shadows. Splashing across the canvass of life are the dark tints of discontent, dangers and defenselessness.
Exploding in a crisis burst, we encounter these problems. Death of parents/family members/friends; career dislocation as in resignation, retrenchment or retirements.
Empty nest syndrome as mentioned in our first paragraph, specifically, when our children move out of our family residence.
Coping
How do midlifers cope?
We survive by understanding our grief time, letting our tears fall and being to kind to ourselves. In some cases, we seek counseling to walk with the losses/pains of death.
With regard to our working life, a career shift may be calling us to take time out to reflect. We can pose these questions.
What is the best job suited to my skills, capabilities and temperament? Would I rather receive a reduced paycheck but enjoy the work of an artist or other creative activity?
Anent our children, LETTING GO is the best way to empower them. Let them spread their wings, take off in freedom and fly to their dreamland.
Finale
You and I are the captains of our own fate.
Sailing full speed ahead, steaming in the vibrant waters, surging across the Pacific Ocean, we have the complete power of middle age. To all our readers, may your life sizzle with the force of bold choices.
