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Wednesday, August 20, 2003
How to keep that other person with you
By Giovanni F. Madrid
A LOT of people said they have high ideals on how their other half should behave and swore to high heavens that they need them.
"Just don't lose sight on the good he does. When a man feels constantly chided for his one hundred mistakes and never hears 'good job, baby' for his success, his respect for you drops to an unrecoverable level," says Sherry Lou Franco, Miss Pista'y Dayat 2002 first runner-up.
"If my girl treats me that way, I will always feel as though she believes me as very inferior, and I will surely not live with that for long. If I do right nearly all the time, she has to remember that I still need to hear it every time. A woman who notices all the good things I've done never falls from my graces," quips advertising executive Rouge Salinas.
Well, I've talked with several guys who believe that respect truly begins away from the beauty and long before the person. It sounds clichéd now, but to earn one's respect you need to already have your own. A close friend once told me, "You should know who you are and who you want to be, then live up to that."
Renowned fashion designer Gerry Imbuido remarked, "If you live up to your own standard, you can love yourself. But if you don't, then don't expect others to. Be someone you can count on first. Be positive and sure of yourself and in love with who you are. You can only fail if you don't live up to what you know to be true for you."
I do agree with these people's belief that when you try to live up to others' rules -- your man, your girlfriend's, or even your parents -- you're only failing. Understand though that you aren't failing any of them, you're only failing yourself.
Let's love ourselves and live like we do. Stand up and smile not because you want to look beautiful for others, but because you know who you are and their opinion really won't change that. You'll look beautiful, but, more importantly, you'll be someone worthy of respect - by your loved ones and everyone else's.
(August 20, 2003 issue)
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