Breaking down of family values taking shape in the country

TACLOBAN CITY--These are the days of torn family values, spiritual immaturity, said Msgr. Ben Sabillo.

Sabillo, a spiritual director and family counselor at Aram House of Renewal in the city, said Filipinos are no longer spared on these types of difficulties today despite them being traditionally family-oriented people.

“Sad to say, I’m witnessing some breakdown of some traditional and lasting family values. Even the name of family indicates that it’s a union of man and woman. Why? FAMILY acronym means F =Father A=and M=Mother, ILY is I love you. Meaning to say, love is to be inculcated in children by parents,” Msgr. Sabillo said.

He further said that marriage is not just procreation but also the obligation of value education in the family.

“Marriage is more than just a contract (a civil union); it has been raised to a sacrament by Christ. In so doing, marriage is a means toward holiness and couples are called to transform their homes into domestic churches (a school of love),” he recounted this online being the “mantra” during his renewal or retreat with couples.

The sad part, however, is that many Filipino families have already been experiencing its opposite, he noted earlier.

Msgr. Sabillo also took notice on same sex marriage being allowed in other countries (which has slowly crept into the moral fiber of the Filipino families) plus the prevalence of live-in unions being contributory factors to dysfunctional families.

As of 2004, there have been around 2.4 million Filipinos who are managing family thru live-ins or cohabitation.

Another issue threatening Filipino traditional values are the ongoing debate on legislating divorce in the country.

Meanwhile, Msgr. Sabillo stressed that the physical and emotional hurts in a family if it is to be solved, have to be faced and discussed.

When asked on the reason why this happened, Msgr. Sabillo, however, said that no family is exempted from difficulties yet it doesn’t mean that it has no solution.

“This is part of being human, and with it the challenge to grow in wisdom and grace. Even the model family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph went through these difficulties. Did we not hear Mary said to the “pasaway (unruly)” Jesus: “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety (Luke 2: 41-52).” Yet this family became holy as we all are called to be. Why? There was love, mutual respect, listening and understanding. These are solutions to family problems,” he said.

Also the Spiritual director has seen a decline in spiritual growth and maturity among Filipino families, at the same manner he continued in reminding them to live out and practice their faith.

He said that having “crisis of faith” brings lose of management to traditional family or individual values.

He then summed up that nurturing one’s family, friends and faith—not selfishness and greed—are essential to love in marriage and family life. (Leyte Samar Daily Express)