WHAT the fudge?
Why do we have to choose among indie films this year? Ew.
Like, isn’t Christmas about fun and happiness? Why are there a couple or more tearjerkers included in the lineup for this year’s Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF)?
That’s so unfair. The old style of movies earned a lot of money, like, so much money. So why change the formula? Like, it would be so Christmas feels if the movies this year continued to be about fairies, super powers and jokes, instead of a controversial story pegged around the local mining industry.
Like, seriously? Mining? Duh.
All should dream that the old and classic MMFF is given justice. The new lineup is just so-so. There’s not such a thing as too corny when it comes to film festivals. This year’s films lack jokes.
Here are this year’s entries in boring alphabetical order:
Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank 2: #ForeverIsNotEnough
- Septic tank? Who wants to see a film about septic tanks? That hashtag is lit tho.
Die Beautiful
- Who wants to watch a film about death during Christmas? And why is dying a beautiful thing?
Kabisera
- Another family drama. Why try to replace the awesomeness that is Mano Po? Why fix something that wasn’t broken?
Oro
- A movie about “greed.” There’s a lot of that in government already. Maybe it’s better if we don’t think, watch about those things. Our country will be happier.
Saving Sally
- Cartoons are for children. But if this is for children, why so many evil-looking monsters? Tsk.
Seklusyon
- Another movie that wants to scare people. Puh-leese. Who needs another horror flick when you can choose from over 30 episodes of Shake, Rattle and Roll?
Sunday Beauty Queen
- Documentary? Snorefest. Seriously? An entry trying to show quality life-lessons during a film festival?
Vince & Kath & James
- So trying to be Twilight. Don’t us. The cast looks pretty but they’re not so popular.
See? Where’s the Queen of All Media when you need her to revive the box office? What the fudge...