#tell_it_to_sunstar: Love failures

IF you’re reading this and cannot identify with the title, then maybe, you were never in love. In this case, Tennyson (“In Memoriam A.H.H.,” not Shakespeare) has a message for you: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.”

If you can identify with the title of this article, then read on. Sometimes failing is the best learning experience there is.

A spouse commits an infidelity, realizes he has jeopardized trust and risks losing the most important relationship he has. Courageously, he confesses to the offended spouse. His genuine repentance earns forgiveness. And the relationship continues on a more appreciative footing.

Unfortunately, some love failures are not one-offs but continue for life. This is a different story. What do you do with a continuing love failure whether spousal violence or infidelity? Suffer perpetual abuse and martyrdom or terminate the relationship?

Even more disastrous and life threatening is love failure with children: parental love failure.

Story time:

Jose (not his real name) was about six years of age. His father was a dynamite fisherman, who had a problem with alcohol. One day, Jose’s father took him fishing. He threw the dynamite. It landed close to Jose. His father told him to pick it up and throw it further. Obediently, Jose did so. The dynamite exploded. Jose’s hand was blasted off. Totally severed. His body covered with blast marks.

Eventually, Jose became a street child in Cebu City. He kept himself alive scavenging from garbage cans. One evening after a day’s scavenging, while waiting for the night shelter to open, his father found him. He demanded all Jose’s hard earned cash for another bottle. Total love failure?

It’s a good to reach out to a child in need, a victim of parental love failure. There’s plenty of choice. No crowds or queues

“...Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Mt 25:40)--The Village Idiot (busayboy@yahoo.com