IN my list of daily prayers, I do have outstanding insights which I keep in mind.

I quote from The Finger of God in our everyday lives by Ronald Rolheiser. Let me share just three conflicts:

“We cannot, not disappoint our loved ones—and cannot help but be disappointed by them.”

“We cannot live with or love anyone for long without seriously hurting him or her.”

“We are so different from others that we cannot help but irritate them and make them impatient with us.”

These are just three of the many conflicts we meet in life and they are self-explanatory.

The irony that hits us most of the time is that we want life to be free of conflicts. Actually, there is nothing wrong with this desire as long as we know we are part of the conflict.

We can always initiate the paving of a better life. Giving in to the needs of others is really not so hard a task. We can always wake up early to use the shower so others can also take a bath before work. We can leave enough food on the table so that there is enough left for the other members of the family.

A rule for spouses should be: “Think twice before letting go of unnecessary comments like “Why can’t you remember to put out my favorite shirt?” Wives do so many things for husbands which come from the heart. Wives, too, can refrain from saying, “You always forget us.” Husbands work so hard for the family, sometimes, wives forget to thank them.

It can be easy to avoid conflicts. We must not forget to be mindful of others.

Our friends are also easy prey to our biting tongues. I’ve heard this remark often enough: “You only think of yourself. What about me?” or “Why do you always come when I am very busy?” The minute we let go of words, we can’t take them back.

Our children often say things they do not really mean. I used to get hurt when I would hear this remark. “Mommy, you irritate me!” Today, I simply let the remark pass and say to myself, “Perhaps, I do irritate others.” Most of us parents interfere with the upbringing of our grandchildren. The rule to follow is: Don’t meddle. We have had our time of child-rearing.

It is really good to read extensively and to pray daily. We learn a lot about patience, about kindness and about living in harmony. We can always avoid conflicts if we are careful before they can escalate into hurts or bigger problems.