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Saturday, September 21, 2019

Cabaero: Breakup by phone

MORE than half of Filipinos who ended a relationship did so by mobile phone - through text, a call, or an instant message.

Of the more than 500 people surveyed by a Filipino online selling and shopping resource, 58 percent admitted to using mobile phones to end relationships. Almost 30 percent used text messages, 22 percent called, and 7 percent used instant messenger. The use of emojis or emotion icons like smileys was not measured.

To get back together, 75 percent agree that giving gifts helps in the reconciliation process, said the survey conducted by Lazada.com.ph, a popular online store where Filipinos can select from a range of items. “I’m sorry” gifts, it said, did not have to be expensive.

The online survey did not appear to have been conducted scientifically. It was not as detailed as those done by the Social Weather Stations or the Pulse Asia Research Inc. The Lazada press statement was silent on any margin of error.

But the survey result was revealing of the kinds of relationships in this digital, connected world.

Lazada said it held the online survey on “Heartbreaks and Healing” to investigate how technology has affected how people get together, fight, break up, and move on. It found out that online profiling or checking online data on another person has become “standard practice” for those who want to develop relationships. It said 54 percent of respondents check a potential date’s social media profile before going out on one. “Online research and dating are now so intertwined that even if they like someone in person, 60 percent of people have said that they lost interest after doing more research on social media,” the Lazada statement said.

Not everybody broke up by mobile phone. There were those who did it the decent way in person (34.8 percent) and those who split up through handwritten letter (6.3 percent).

After a breakup, 52 percent or more than half report stalking their ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s social media page. One out of three respondents ended up getting back together with their loved one.

How to get back together? They give peace offerings or “I’m sorry” gifts, Lazada said, but it also pointed out the practice of sharing passwords. “Trust is one important factor. Almost 65 percent of respondents say they share their email, phone and app passwords with their significant other,” it said. There were others, 35.5 percent, who would rather keep their passwords to themselves.

Their Valentine’s Day wish for the ex: “I wish him or her well” (40.2 percent), “I wish they get what they deserve” (33.9 percent), and “I don’t think about them at all” (25.9 percent).

What the respondents didn’t say was that, if they split up again, they could always change their passwords or create new accounts.

With the common use of mobile phones, splitting up is one undertaking that can be done through a text or call. Still, the decent way to break up is face to face and not through the cowardly approach of behind a mobile phone.
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