Pangilinan: To Sunis, on your 5th

I NEVER thought that I will ever love another person more than I love myself, until I first set my eyes on you.

Five years has passed and I still remember the precious sound of your first cries piercing the silence of the room, when you finally came out of my womb. I also recall my worries and fears during your first hospital stay, and my fervent prayers and tears that accompanied me everyday during those times.

You seem to grow up very fast right before my eyes, I woke up one day and I couldn’t carry you anymore. Suddenly I am longing for the days when I carried you in my arms and lulled you to sleep, or those moments when you solemnly slept on my breasts. You and I have been through a lot of things together, and every moment I spend with you is always a welcome gift, and a new adventure.

You are a little ray of sunshine right in our home, and your smiles and laughter are more than enough to tide us over during the dark and sorrowful times we faced as a family. Your wit and antics never fail to surprise me, sometimes annoying me, but more often than not delighting me, half-forgetting that you are just a child of four with wisdom beyond your years.

While you never went through that gibberish phase in your speech, I know in my heart that you are still very much my baby, and perhaps will always be so. Even when you tell that you want to get married after you finish your masters in 20 years or more. You still have a long way to go, Anak, no matter how you wish you were a teenager so you can finally watch the Walking Dead.

Waking up next to you each day is a gift that I will always treasure. I always bring with me the twinkle in your eyes, the softness of your baby kisses, and the warmth of your energetic hugs. Whenever you say that you love me, it makes me feel as if I must have done something good in the world. Ours may not always be the perfect family or home, but I will always do my best to be there for you, as you find your own path in the world.

I look forward to more adventures with you, Sunis, and I hope and pray that you will discover how wonderful life is, and how blessed you are to here, as you grow up. While I encourage you to do great in all things that you do and to always be brave, do not be afraid to fail, or at least to try. There are still a lot of things that I want to share with you, but then I remember, you are just turning five.

We love you so much, Sunis Undomiel Nicola Irineia Sonja! Many happy returns and may God continue to bless you and keep you safe always.

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