Michelle: Once is enough for a wise man. Do you believe in second chances? If it was still a dating relationship, maybe not but in a committed relationship like marriage, yes, definitely. Why the difference, you may ask? Well, if you’re still dating, it’s possible that you’re both not yet sure of taking the next step of committing for better or for worse, you know the drill. But if you’re married, chances are, you will make the effort for another chance to fix the relationship, especially if there are children involved.
DJ: I believe in second chances. Pain is part of loving. It’s unfortunate that people sometimes screw things up or take drastic measures to insulate the relationship from failure. Either way, it often leads to split ends. But good can still come out of something ill-starred: we learn. Besides, if a couple was able to solve the previous differences without major harm in the relationship, why should the last fight result to a break-up? Person 2.0 might just turn out to be a better version due to the lesson learned.
M: One might say that not giving someone a second chance is too unforgiving for not reconsidering. I believe otherwise. When one is still dating and if the partings were amicable, I see no reason to disturb the peace. They say if you love someone, set them free. If they return, they’re bound forever if they get hitched. But we know there is really “no forever.” But if you are still together after a long time, it is not just because of feelings but because it is a decision. When something ends, we have to learn to move on and forge ahead. We can also stay but it’s good to remember that life has so much in store for us.
DJ: Asking yourself how you were as a partner is a good starting point. Is the relationship making them better persons? It takes two to make or break a relationship. And there’s got to be something—like values or life goals—that a couple has in common other than a favorite song. After taking these into account, they can sit down and talk about what caused the rift, and more importantly, decide how it can be fixed. Love can remain even with feelings of pain. It’s not really about the number of fights but how two people fight and who they become in the process. What can’t break a relationship, in fact, strengthens it. Who knows? The break-up and the make-up might even lead to a more meaningful connection.
M: One should never say never though. In many instances, people who have loved and lost have loved again whom they have previously lost. Our hearts have the capacity to love much but we should teach our hearts to expand its capacity to forgive more. There is no hurt too deep that cannot be erased by love and compassion.
DJ: When we get too comfortable in a relationship, we sometimes take things for granted and forget the things that mattered—saying “sorry,” for example, or “thank you.” And some start making amends to avoid getting into a cold war. But these eventually pile up; even a straw can already break the camel’s back. Now, if a problem can still be mended after some time apart, why not? I’d say go for Act II. Love beyond the pain, love through the pain, in spite of and because of love. Yes, we should never say no for the chance to live happily ever after.