Saturday July 21, 2018

Y-Speak: Losing someone

THERE'S this Beatles song that resonates with me whenever I'm going through a rough patch with someone.

"We can work it out. Life is very short and there's no time."

I've had my fair share of relationships - be it romantic, platonic or family, that didn't work out. I've had gains and losses. But these don't erase the fact that it hurts when I lose someone.

There’s this person whom I adored ever since I’ve known what adoring is. That was until she gave me up so easily - so easily that it knocked the breath out of me. I was disheartened at how simple it is for her to give me up.

The question is why? Why do things don't work out? I always ask myself questions like “Is it because of me?” “Did I do something?” Sometimes, I’d be so angry that I become petty and blame others.

Then all the “what if’s” I’ve raised would come haunting me at night, depriving me of sleep. Even of having closure with that someone, I just can’t seem to have closure with myself. Sometimes I’d lose grip on reality thinking or imagining what if things gone out differently.

I’m not innocent of this either. I’ve given people up. I grew apart with friends whom I was really close with for more than five years, I broke up with someone whom I thought I’ll be with for years. It’s not easy. And it’s not easier when I see those people at the mall, at school, across the hallway, and all I can do is nod and smile, if I’m lucky, have small talks. At the back of my mind, I would reminisce.

“Wow, we’ve gone through so much together and now, it’s like it’s gone to thin air.”

But I can attest that in most losses that I had, I learned from it. I learned when to fight for people and when to let go of people.

I always have a hard time getting over of people that went but I just learned to live with it, embrace it.

To the people that I’ve grown apart to, if you’re reading this,

“Some have changed Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
In my life, I've loved them all
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more."

- In My Life by The Beatles

(Patricia S. Tuyac, NDDU Intern)