Aguilar: Aircraft pilots

THE aircraft was approaching to a touchdown and the intercom was still switched on when the passengers heard the captain whispered to his co-pilot.

“The first thing I’ll do after we land is to have a couple of beers, then I intend to make love to that brown-haired stewardess.”

As expected, the stewardess turned red with embarrassment even as she dashed down the aisle to alert the pilots that the intercom was still on. But she tripped over a case. And a little old lady helped her to her feet.

“It’s alright miss,” she said. “Plenty of time. He said he was going to have beers first.

The passengers were shocked to see a nude man dashing up the aisle of the aircraft into the flight deck. Then it was fully explained with the announcement: “This is your captain streaking.”

*****

The co-pilot was unfortunately named Jack. He came late. When he finally stepped aboard, the captain called, “Hi, Jack,” and most of the passengers made an attempt to jump out.

*****

The pilot was having his regular medical check.

“When did you last have sex?” asked the doctor as a routine question.
“Nineteen fifty-eight,” said the pilot.

“Oh, that was a long time ago.” The pilot glanced at his wrist watch and said, “It’s only twenty-two fifteen now.”

*****

Another pilot was also having his regular medical check.

“Sex,” asked the doctor.

“Infrequently,” said the pilot.

“Hmmm,” said the doctor. “Is that one word or two?”

*****

The notorious Cassanova of a pilot went to the doctor to complain of impotence.

The doctor was taken aback, “You of all people,” he said.

“Why you have a reputation as long as my arm.”
The pilot replied, “What’s the good of a reputation if it won’t stand up?”

*****

Macky: What is one thing in common between a woman and an airplane?

Pilot: Both have a cockpit.
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