I WAS invited to attend several June weddings as godfather, or as best friend of the bride’s father (groom’s also). All wedding ceremonies remind me of my own wedding. I was not listening to the priest.

June is wedding month. Heavy rains fall in June. When the soil is wet, plants grow fast. That is the best comparison I could give. You may not believe it. For the new husband and wife, romance can last for five years (or even more). They start building up a family and reap the harvest of love, children. Marriage has a story to tell.

I have my own story and others have told me their stories without being asked. The story starts 30 years after the wedding day. I married at 36 (quite late) but my wife was 21. I did not follow the advice of my grandfather, “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.” May his soul rest in peace.

My astute friend believes that wedding is sadder than a funeral. (I am reminded of the movie “Four Weddings and a Funeral”.) “A funeral reminds me of my own wedding. I can’t be reminded of my own funeral because it hasn’t happened. My wedding makes me cry.” (I found out later that he was married to the cousin of his girlfriend. This was a case of mistaken identity.)

The Holy Bible is very clear when it comes to husband and wife relationship. “Husband, love your wife, and be not bitter against her. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”

Marriage should be like wine. The longer it stays, the better it tastes. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. (Is there an insurance involvement?) I am just asking. In the case of an old maid, marriage is like death by drowning. She believes it to be that way. It is really a delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.

A policeman friend made this comment, “The trouble with my wife is that she is a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed.” Something fishy is being cooked here. I don’t insist that he should elaborate. It is just like saying that marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

One day, I was late in a very important meeting. The chair of the committee was throwing a dagger look at me. “Why are you late?” In a low voice, I answered, “I am a married man.” The rest of my friends laughed. That made the chair smile. The meeting continued and I was not marked late.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. My friend asked, “Why have hamburgers out when you’ve got steak at home?” His department head answered, “That doesn’t mean it’s always tender.” Probably, wives should know that.

I have observed that when a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing and trying to improve him. Marriage is not made in heaven. A married couple is well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time.

It takes two to make marriage a success (just like tango) and only one a failure. Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. Married women are kept women, and they are beginning to find it out. Let us be reminded that marriage is like life. It is a field of battle and not a bed of roses.

Thirty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin (not that of Talisay); thirty years of marriage make her something like a public building (like that of provincial capitol). Always make your marriage a titillating circumstance. Make every night a treasure hunt.

Husbands, consider your wives angels with a lariat. Do not beat around the bush. The wives should consider the thrill of the chase but be careful of fire down below. Always find out the secret dessert, even it’s not on the menu. Do not forget the sweet surrender. Both should always look for a window of opportunity in a happy marriage.