WHY single out the Daddy's anger? Isn't Mom's anger the same? Honestly, both angers are made up of the same dangerous chemicals like dynamite, it depends on how it is used. Anger, per se, is not wrong. In fact, life without anger is also abnormal. As uncontrolled anger has its effect on emotion and health, and has damaged relationships, the same is true when one is unable to publicly express anger.
Being an angry dad is different from a dad whose anger has become a lifestyle. Anger becomes an outlet of one's hidden garbage. Usually, the ones that receive all the toxins are the ones we love the most. The wife and kids become Dad's recipients of his anger.
When temper gets out of control, relationships are scarred on a daily basis and our children can only stay safe by maintaining a polite distance from Dad. Why are Dad's usually angry? There can be many reasons. like, he grew up with an angry Dad; he is in his midlife crisis; he is a diabetic; he is a failure according to his self-assessment.
While these reasons may stir compassion, the effect on those around you is not diminished! Angry people hurt, and hurt people hurt others. The cycle is enough to tear a happy family apart.
Dads must be humble enough to admit they need help. Once an admittance is made, half of the problem is solved. Few dads want to admit that their rage is beyond the ordinary. As a pastor, nothing is more inconsistent to my kids than my tantrums of anger and because of my religious position, their expectations are higher. Therefore, the damage done is greater. Dads like me can show two faces: one, as a kind minister to others, the other, as a mean monster to my kids.
We still have time to change our gift to our kids. This Father's day, be a less angry Dad, but be realistic. Due to the time we were living in anger, any sudden change of behavior will be treated with suspicion. Well, that is our score. but do not give up. The remaining years before the kids fly out of our homes can be our greatest redemption from God.
Have an honest talk with God and ask for help. Talk to your spiritual director, your best friend. In my case, a fellow minister or a friend in church. Do not hesitate to talk to reliable counselors. I highly and respectfully recommend Professor Eseng Victolero and the couple, Reverend Ed Gaston and Doctor Norma Gaston.
In my emotional crisis, they were God-sent. You can text me on this number, 0917-702-7052, and I will send their numbers to you.
A few days from now will be Father's Day. I suggest we celebrate this occasion humbly-meaning, make no demands. If we receive a card from the kids, that will be sufficient. If we receive a text from them, let us be thankful. If we receive none, let us accept our score.
Why is Dad's anger more lethal than Mom's? That is because dads are the thermostat, not the thermometer of the home. An angry dad makes all our day bad. It is no wonder that when Dad arrives, laughter stops and the kids go to their caves. We set the atmosphere of the home. How about angry moms? We have gotten used to it already, unlike angry dads, they torture our souls. The sad news is that we just might follow in their footsteps. Lord, have mercy!
Here is my honest prayer for dads before Father's Day comes. Let us go to our Heavenly Father and ask Him to embrace us despite our being angry Dads. Let us go to Jesus. He is the way to the Father. Let us rely on the Spirit, He will teach us to cool down.
Do not become an angry dad for the rest of your life. We can accommodate angry birds, but we will have no more of angry dads.
I always write from my heart. Thanks for reading.