Saturday, March 23, 2019

Lim: The proposal

SOCIAL media has gone agog over a young man’s over-the-top invite for coffee via billboard directed to a local celebrity. While some have lauded the young man for his bravura, others see his ploy to get a woman’s attention, Machiavellian.

A public proposal is, admittedly, a bold move worthy of praise, but as with all daring exploits, it can blow up in one’s face. It’s creepy enough to be asked out privately by a stranger so that when a stranger takes out a billboard to invite you for coffee, it’s a bit macabre and menacing.

In the age of the Internet, wearing your heart on your sleeve can either get you crucified or canonized. It’s a high stakes gambit—the outcome of which can either be public adulation or public humiliation.

So while billboard proposals can score you some brownie points, your bravura can also backfire. Every woman hankers for attention but not every woman desires public attention.

No one wants to be put on the spot. And whether it’s an ogling public, a cheering crowd or your own circle of acquaintances egging you to say yes, it’s a very uncomfortable and awkward situation to be in.

It’s just not the way to woo a woman. You want her to say yes because she wants to, not because she’s been backed up into a corner and railroaded into giving a socially acceptable answer.

And while a man is to be admired for knowing what he wants and going for it, there is no need to invite the public to participate in such a quest. Such a move would seem to signify a gigantic-sized ego that will likely mow down whatever good intentions there were in the first place.

A billboard proposal from a stranger does seem a bit crude not to mention, creepy. It’s a display of power from someone who seems to want to announce to the world that he’s got not only audacity but money as well.

This guy doesn’t want to win your heart. He wants to buy you—at any cost.

And yet, all grand gestures are not to be summarily dismissed as eerily creepy and downright disgusting. After all, all women I know go giddy over grand gestures, but from people they love, not from people they don’t know from Adam.

So how does a man know when a public proposal is classified as dreamy and not creepy? Let me break it to you gently, guys. When a girl likes you, you can do no wrong but when she doesn’t, everything you do is wrong.

You just have to take that leap of faith.

Generally, any contact initiated by strangers makes me wary. Serial killers come to mind. But this probably comes from watching too many episodes of Criminal Minds. So don’t take my opinion as gospel truth.

But this, I can tell you—if she wants you, you won’t need the props, if she doesn’t, all the props in the world won’t help. Personally, I prefer pluck over props. But props is probably easier to procure than pluck.
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