WHEN a husband becomes a father, you will see a part of him that was previously hiding in the shadow. To most men, it is a reservoir of inner strength, patience and positivity that would elevate him to an admired father in his senior years.
Unfortunately, there are men whose hidden parts are flaws in their character that would slowly chip and seriously damage their families over the course of time. Whatever the case, fatherhood is an entirely new journey, filled with new adventures that would either make you love your husband more or regret the bond that ties you together.
I have witnessed and heard stories of men morphing into someone else in the face of fatherhood. There were those that buckled, financially and emotionally unprepared for the responsibilities. As soon as being a dad became a reality in their relationship, they quickly found faults in their partners and thousands of reasons to flee, regardless if they are legally tied to their partners or not. They want the warmth of a woman in their bed, without the consequence of having a child.
Other men see fatherhood as a part time distraction. They want the good times and those Facebook worthy moments that could result to 100 likes. They enjoy a slice of fatherhood, but not the entire layer. These dads are the kind that provides well for their kids, but would not readily change diapers or attend Parent-Teacher Conferences. They delegate the day-to-day rearing of children to their wives.
Due to the demands of their work, most of them are forced to be part time dads. But there are also those who secretly use their jobs as a shield against dealing with smelly poo, nasty tantrums, and endless demands of the little ones. They do not deal with the details but could be counted on when there are big time problems in the family.
And then there are those who try to juggle everything. These are those who will probably not get promoted at work because they take too many leaves to attend their kids’ school birthday parties, to provide moral support during Intramurals, or to share the burden of taking care of a sick child.
They will not be too popular with their bosses because they could not be counted on to put in long hours and work on weekends. They are the ones who are dressed in corporate attires but with perhaps a crayon in the pocket or a kid’s drawing in their briefcase. Their kids will grow up riding a ten year old family car and not experiencing an out of the country family vacation, but they will grow up with many everyday memories of their dads.
Lastly, there are husbands who take on the traditional role of wives when it comes to child rearing. They are the stay-at-home dads who have it in them to go against the norm. Their skills include braiding the hair of their daughters, cooking a delicious anniversary dinner and getting juice and chocolate stains out of clothes. These are the dads who have the ability to ignore the raised eyebrows of their parents and peers when they see him wearing an apron. When their wives bring home the bacon, they happily cook a meal out of it.
Fatherhood changes a husband. One might glimpse an inkling of the kind of dad a husband is going to be, but too often, the circumstances and the stage where a man is in his life plays an important role in his development as a dad. Whatever the case, we wives always hope that our children would have a wonderful father who deserves the unconditional love of the little ones.
Cheers to husbands who are great fathers! Happy Father’s Day to all dads!
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