MY daughter in San Diego has accused me of taking the path of least resistance. I agree with her. I have allowed the pain from my bed sore to keep still, literally and figuratively.
I need to exercise my limbs, eat more while managing my food intake, take an interest in things and generally rejoin the world. But any movement causes the pain, constant even if it sometimes recedes to a manageable throb, to peak at a level that is hard to bear. So, I prefer to lie in bed and allow the wound care specialist to tend to the sore on my rear and get up only when necessary.
My daughter also wonders why I prefer not to let friends know about my condition. At my request, she and her sisters have shielded me from would-be visitors. I agree that it is time I am more open about my pain. I was hospitalized because my bed sore had festered and in my efforts to control any discharges, I had deprived my body of nutrients and was in danger of collapse.
I am now recovering under the watchful eye of my daughters, caregivers and my doctor via a wound care specialist. Healing, however, is not fast for someone my age, particularly because I am also a diabetic. I am still not open to receiving visitors, however, because it is hard to be hospitable when one is in pain. I also get tired easily.
I have heard from my former students, and I must beg for their understanding and patience. I am simply not up to a visit at this point. While I appreciate the thought, I must also discourage gifts. My diet is very limited so I am afraid that the gifts might go to waste. I have more than enough and my daughters are seeing to my needs.
My reasons for taking the path of least resistance are valid, but I also know that I must be brave. Life goes on, even if it hasn’t for some of my friends. I’ve missed paying my last respects to them because I cannot sit for long in a car, especially given Cebu traffic. My wound has to heal before I can go places.
I miss going to Mass. Catching the Holy Mass on the CCTN network is not the same, even if it does fulfill my longing to hear the Word of God. It also means a great deal to me that I can hear confession at least once a month from Fr. Erwin of Sto. Tomas in Basak, Pardo. It also makes me happy when friends call me to tell me they are praying for me. Thank God for them. And thank God also that I can still pray for them.
When my daughters and well-meaning friends push, I am sometimes jolted out of just trying to go through the day with as little pain as possible. I know that there is more to life, even for those incapacitated like myself.
God helps those who help themselves so I must do what I can to get better, even if it is hard and painful. This is true for all of us who have fallen into a pattern of agreeing with and accepting our lot, even if it is not ideal, because it is easier and more convenient to go with the tide than against it.
The path of least resistance is comfortable, but it does not yield much.