Mercado: The witches of ‘Ber’

AGAINST the hopes and aspirations of the expected joys of the “ber” season, the witches of September have been wreaking havoc to the country and elsewhere.

From the devil’s cauldron emerged the witch that ravaged the multi-million poultry industry in Pampanga. The deadly bird flu caused panic among chicken eating residents. Pampango resiliency demanded an abstention from dining on suspect fowl and eggs until the witch left the province for other missions.

The other witches were occupied in bringing disasters spawned by Typhoon Maring. Several barangays, mostly in coastal towns, are still submerged in flood waters and suffer daily torture beyond risk management and disaster mitigation.

The bird flu followed by Typhoon "Maring" appeared as both punishment and opportunity. They brought rewards to poultry raisers who sold ailing chicken to the market. Our children, the fearless and adventurous hopes of the motherland, knowingly or not, lined up before barbecue joints to enjoy chicken gizzards, entrails and “buldit manok.” These are believed to be brain foods.

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A popular movie, “The Devil Wears Prada” seemed to have influenced our labor officials to ban the wearing high-heeled shoes among women sales attendants. It was a good witch looking over the welfare of the women who had to endure the hard duty of standing eight hours strapped in calf-wrenching half-stilettos. Now the married sales girl enjoys sex without being disrupted by painful leg cramps as a result of the mandated shoes.

Expect the department stores to require their attendants to work in their platform gear and get the same sales results. Aging local playboys who are famous for buying expensive if tawdry items for their target girls in Malls may now gift their prey with platform shoes. The devil woman wears Prada.

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The witches of BER have started hypnotizing young kids to satisfy expensive “wants.”

The malls are busy with the broom-riding creatures cast spells with the youth, inducing them with getting material desires, and the pride of possessing the latest gadgets. It compels Senators to undertake conflicts and contentions with serial probes on police and customs officials with Senator Trillanes in the role of both hero and villain. Here a back tattoo becomes a symbol of the devil.

Instead of bringing the clowns in during days of boredom the witches took over to fan the fires of new scandals and expose’. The PNP chief shed tears of remorse if not guilt during a stormy Senate session, the second tear-jerker in his term. As a damage control, our cabalen, PNP Chief Supt. Oscar Albayalde sacked the entire Caloocan police district in a mass purging of scalawags and murderers.

It was a great day for Caloocan Bishop Ambo David of Betis and Albayalde of San Fernando. While occupied in kindling the fires of the Marawi battleground, the mischievous witches of BER flew to London to bomb a subway injuring a large crowd. Then back to the Philippines they toyed with the legal system and sprung Sen. Jinggoy out from detention. Christmas came early to the Sandiganbayan justices. Expected to follow his freedom is fellow accused Sen. Bong Revilla, Happy New Year to the next Division trying the Revilla case!

There will be a gathering of BER witches on Sept. 21 where their ominous presence in both sides of the anti and pro barricades will determine the issues of the day. Meanwhile the witches brew starts to boil with frogs, mice, and snakes. Who is the fairest of them all? The images of CJ Sereno and Comelec chief Bautista appear in the concoction as in a mirror darkly.
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