Padilla: Blaming this Digong

I'VE been audaciously tearing up at Bullit Marquez’s photographs of uniformed personnel being met by family and friends at the airport that I have refused to look at them any more lest I turn my worktable into a swimming pool. Puffy eyes do not exactly make my "kilays" perfect and so I blame Digong. He might be PRRD, PRD, President to most but in my mind he is always Digong. And I hope I do not encounter him anywhere or else I’ll just call him "Digong." Rude? Yes and if ever that happens, I will still blame Digong.

I blame Digong for almost 200 uniformed personnel who died or were injured in the long battle in Marawi City. Imagine? Families losing sons or husbands. I cannot blame the Mautes. They were just one of the many Moros struggling for identity in this Christian-dominated archipelago. They needed to produce and peddle shabu and turn illiterate children into armed Isis fighters. That was necessary. I blame this President for sending jungle-trained soldiers into urban conflict. They were not prepared for the rat holes that the Mautes knew like the checkered turbans they’ve been wearing since childhood. What Digong could have done is something he could have learned if he watched or read the Game of Thrones. He could have invited the Mautes to dinner, served them sumptuous dinner at some opulent hotel built on KFR money and offered a toast with poisoned wine. It isn’t just GOT that has that poisoned wine scene but Korean teleseryes too. Digong might be a strategist, as they say he is, but boy, he’s not creative. He just has no flair for diplomacy and cinematic drama.

I blame Digong for putting into law the no smoking policy all over the country. How else can one be cool without a cigarette balancing between well-manicured fingers? Cigarette dangling provided sass in bitching scenes along with the ruby red lips and yes, perfect "kilays." Think of Celia Rodriguez. It’s also additional "pogi" points exhaling perfect nicotine-filled O-rings to BAE’s face who didn’t know that second-hand smoke was fatal.

And why would he speed up the construction of the 12,500 shelters of those affected by Typhoon Yolanda? He was not the president then. Why steal the fun from the Aquino administration? He just loves to lay claim to achievements that is not even his. This Digong is such afamew***e!

Then, guess how many airport personnel are now suffering because he stopped the thriving business called "laglagbala?" The "laglagbala" fueled many negligible business -- like selling rolls of duct tapes, cling and bubble wraps, and impenetrable luggage. Imagine the loss of income.

Then there’s free college education in state universities. Geez, he is making all the useless poor children flock in universities especially UP. Does this mean that there will be more building construction to create classrooms? So with less open spaces there will be fewer parking spaces? OMG, what will be university life like with more students and less parking spaces!

Then there’s fake news. I blame Digong for making me more mindful and critical of the daily news I read. According to that stupid Oxford study, he has spent millions on bloggers and bots who spread fake news. Before Digong, I would just read news, dismiss whatever I have read with my final caffeine sip. Now, I have to scrutinize the stories I read and hear. Sometimes, I even have to preen near the TV set to see if it’s Karen Davila or her impersonator I’m watching on ANC.

This Digong has brought so much misery to Filipinos that I even find myself going through my social media accounts inside a crowded jeepney. I oh-so-just blame him, this Digong.
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