Women’s world: Losing a friend over personal values

Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante & Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N.

Dear Cindy,

I used to be very close with an officemate. After office hours, we would usually go out and spend a few hours together before going home.

But we got into a serious argument when I told her I feel uncomfortable with all her explicit sex talk and that I don’t really agree with her many relationships and flings with married men or men twice our age.

I just truly care about her like a younger sister and don’t want her to get hurt or get into trouble. What should I do?

Eunice

Dear Eunice,

Sometimes it’s tough being a good friend, especially when you get rejected when you’re only trying to help. You can’t make people turn into what you want them to be.

They have to make that decision on their own. It’s their life after all.

All we can do to help is offer advice, be there to listen and hope that one day, they will realize the real effects of what they are doing. When they do, you are going to be the person they will go to because you are the one who stick with them through thick and thin.

You can try to talk to your friend again and tell her that while you support whatever decisions she makes, you felt you owe it to her to know what you think, because a true friend will let her friend know when she thinks she’s doing something wrong. Tell her that you don’t want to be “plastic” (i.e. insincere) to her.

Love ought to be a source of deep joy and peace to both the lover and the loved one. If it does not bring you peace with yourself, peace with others, and peace with your God, then, it is not love. I hope that you and your friend will be on good terms again.

God bless,

Cindy

rWhat’s a good corporate look?

Dear Dr. Dana,

I’M employed as a receptionist in one of the hotels here in Cebu. In my line of work, I meet and talk with different clients.

As a result, I’m very conscious with my personal appearance. I want to look good and presentable. Can you tell me what’s going on with nails right now—how long they should be and what color and shape?

Another thing also, is there a way to make my fragrance last longer? I’m afraid to apply too much.

Pauline

rDear Pauline,

The big news is the return of the colored polish. What makes the look modern? A new spectrum of deep tones—burgundy, wine, chocolate brown and raisin—worn on shorter and square nails.

Slick on base coat, very important with heavily pigmented polish, to impede yellowing, then paint as usual. Apply topcoat every other day, to prevent chips. You might also keep a bottle of polish at your workplace for emergency fixes.

Pauline, you have to realize that just because you can’t smell your perfume midday doesn’t mean it’s not potent.

Due to phenomenon called olfactory overload, we lose our ability to recognize an aroma once scent receptors become used to it (takes about 15 minutes). Still, it’s smart to make a fragrant impact, so try layering.

Start with a scented shower gel or bath beads. After bathing, cream yourself with perfumed body lotion. Next, apply perfume to all pulse points. Begin at ankles, then spritz or dot behind knees, between breasts, inside wrists, at bends of elbows, base of throat, and finally, behind ears. Don’t be afraid of putting on too much.

The latest fragrances are more translucent in composition than traditional scents and thus are not as heady. If you do overdose, rub application spot with astringent-soaked cotton ball.

Very truly yours,

Dr. Dana R. Sesante

Dana Ruiz-Sesante, M.D. owns and operates Ruiz Derma & Spa which offers a wide variety of beauty services. There are branches at SM City Cebu Ayala Center, SM-Cebu and other locations.

Cynthia Ruiz-Garaña, RN, supervises Ruiz Beauty and Healthcare Training Institute located at 132 Don Mariano Cui St., Capitol Site, Cebu City. E-mail them at ruizderma@yahoo.com

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