JOEY Adams: "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"
Anonymous: "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits."
Jay Leno: "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average... which means, you have met your New Year's resolution."
Ogden Nash: "Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"
William Thomas: "It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." Mark Twain: "Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."
Bill Vaughan: "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." Still Vaughan: "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
Oscar Wilde: "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."
Eric Zorn: "Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle."
Me: "May the best of 2010 be ours!"