Stand out and deliver

M: Tweety, who just graduated and is new to a company, said she is just seen as the “HR girl” and that hardly anyone knows her. She wants to progress in her career as fast as her sister. She revealed that she is very competitive and has been an achiever since high school. She asks what she can do to stand out and be ahead of the pack? First things first: It seems to me she is competing against her sister and her motivations are kind of suspect. She seems like a bright girl but patience is a good virtue to cultivate. If higher management sees her good work ethic coupled with patience and perseverance, she doesn’t even have to resort to schemes to make herself stand out.

DJ: Comparing one’s self to others is a sure-fire recipe for unhappiness. Being her best has nothing to do with how well other people are doing. Set a goal. Invest at least 30 minutes to an hour every day to learn more about the company, her scope of work and to master the three essential tasks in her job. Having that feeling of control and achievement that comes from learning and excelling in key skills will boost her confidence about herself and the value she’s contributing to her organization’s success.

M: The brightest are not necessarily the best and some standouts are a flash in the pan. Intelligence is essential but diligence, integrity and honesty are high preferences in my book. There are many aggressive types who are all talk and whose attitude leaves much to be desired. At the other end of the spectrum, those who are too passive are also dead weight. Balance is key. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being competitive but too much of it makes for unhealthy and stressful work relationships.

DJ: Comparisons are never fair because of the usual tendency to compare one’s strength to someone’s weakness. It works if she nips this in the bud and reminds herself of what’s good in her life right now. Using what she’s naturally good at and what her real passions are, she should be the one who gets things done. She should go above the norm, excel on the key measures, improve the process or systems or tools. Or she can volunteer to lead or be part of a project team. Everyone talks about problems. Talk about solutions. The best way to stand out is to be her best self.

M: More than having a successful career, one should strive for a good and happy life. As my late dad would say about the 5 F’s in life, the following should be in this particular order: faith, family, finances, friends and fun. Faith: God should be first in all things and then the rest will follow. If one puts finances ahead of faith or family, that person can be moneyed but still be poor in spirit. Friends and fun should come after finances. If one keeps on partying or having fun without working to secure his or her financial future, after some time he will have no more friends and it won’t be fun to be without a job.

DJ: If Tweety will always want what others have, it’s likely that she’ll always feel that she’s never enough. She can never stand out for who she is not. But she can stand out and be noticed if she appreciates the strengths that are uniquely hers, hone them to excellence and use them smartly to add value in HR or wherever she’s in. She’ll be great at what she can do best and no one else can ever do—being herself.

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