Wednesday August 15, 2018

Alvarez: Pathological liar

DO YOU know someone who habitually tells lies? And it seems like that it is easier for them to make stories, without much effort. The worst is that they don’t feel any regret about their fabricated information. They are incredibly experts in telling excessively large lies.

But how do you spot a pathological liar? Let me share with you some of the tricky styles that make them appear believable. This may not be true to all but I have seen these on most of my clients.

Talk smoothly without hesitations. When they tell news – whether it is good or bad. It is very structured like long practice. They are very sad when the stories are hurting and very happy when the stories are joyful. They are confident of the information they shared and may even use reliable names that would link to his or her false stories.

Relax with eye to eye contact. When they say something, often about breaking topics - they seem to be knowledgeable, like knowing first-hand the stories ringing in the office or the campus. They are like the primary sources of data. When they share information, it seems like it is well validated – “walang kakurap kurap.”

Smiles even when caught. They are not worried about confrontations because they are not just very good in lying but as well as skilled in defending themselves. They may say “Akala ko”, “Iyon kasi ang pagkarining ko” or “Sa akin lang man yun na idea.” They will assume a poker face and act like nothing has transpired. They are remorseless while others might get mad and try to deny all his or her acts and may put the blame on you.

Manipulative. She has the ability to influence people to believe her stories. He or she does not choose an audience – officemates, students, neighbors and family members. She will always have a dishonest opinion to anything fooling even the most skeptical people.

No respect to privacy and authority.

Even with the most delicate situation, he or she can build up stories without discomfort. Organizational set-up does not matter, she reports fabricated stories without following communication protocols. They always feel they have the privileged to report everything that is not their concern. And the worst is that everything does not hold any truth but all lies.

Yes, everyone has tendencies to be dishonest occasionally but living a life with daily deceit is not healthy anymore. Sad but even if the person is confronted or reprimanded, he or she continues to do it without regrets. They can still face the person straight without hesitation and act like nothing has ever happened. They feel so free to sell their lies over and over again.

I guess pathological liars just aim to seek approval, sympathy, and attention from others because in truth they are insecure and weak. In turn, they lie at all times and at all cost unconsciously to improve their self-esteem and self-worth. Ahh... you shouldn’t be buying for these people. Allowing the lies to register in your mind means having to make room for that person who has no worth at all.