IT IS never easy to come out and tell people you’re depressed. Most of the time, it comes unrecognized and undiagnosed. Like a thief in the night, it robs all the positivity, leaving one mentally paralyzed and unable to function well.
I experienced this 7 years back when I was diagnosed with a Major Depressive Disorder. Being raised in an environment where I was compelled to excel made me a person who often aimed to please other people. Although it helped me attain some achievements I am proud of, it was entirely detrimental to my health.
If you are reading this and you are suffering from depression, trust me, it is not easy. In fact, trying all the remedies the internet or your doctor tells you does not really work. I have tried almost everything from reading all the books I can to taking medication such as Prozac, even to the extremes like trying out Psychic and Psychotherapy. While the latter helped me regain my self-image a little, it was a daunting task. By the end of the day, my feelings all weighed in.
I remember my dad coaxing, "It is all in the mind so get over it," but the reality was much more profound. It was not a simple shift in thinking. The rejection and feelings of unworthiness created a mask that led me to a distorted reality of not being good enough.
Going to work, I would often stare down so I wouldn't see anyone or better yet skip the events I needed to attend only to avoid dealing with people. Most of you going through the same condition might relate to this.
The healing process is gradual, and you need to put some effort to be okay. Having a relationship with God also helps a lot. If you are tired of dealing with a real stabbing pain in your heart, committing suicide does not rule out the problem. There are so many things one can do to regain normalcy.
Accepting depression is the first step towards it. First of all, it calms the agitated mind. What you resist persists. Denial causes more misery by bringing up the unchangeable past over and over again. By saying that "this cannot happen to me," you are going into victim mode.
Seek help from God. Do not rely on prescription drugs, it won't do any good. Cry all your pains to Him and trust that He will help you along the way. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Also, seeking a psychotherapist will aid you in the healing process.
Work on self-growth and exclude self-thoughts. Create a healthy mental goal and aim to achieve it. Not only does it make one a better person, it also veers away from self-depreciating views. Try to be productive by asking how you can help other people. Create a daily productivity list and focus on completing the tasks. This keeps the mind busy on more important things.
The road to healing is a long way, and it does not end in a week or two. After 3 years of overcoming depression, self-doubts and insecurities still creep in my mind but it does not affect me anymore. Remember that when you accept yourself, you are no longer in hiding. This leads to forgiveness. Being okay with having a disorder that is curable means you are ready to fight and defeat it.
For questions and suggestions, email me at annaangelicadavid@gmail.com or visit my website www.annasotto.com