NOW considered “the most famous wrestler and most decorated coach in the history of the sport,” Dan Gable was “the god from Iowa State” fighting to keep his title in the 1970 NCAA wrestling national championships.
As such, everyone expected him to win, and he did... until a nobody sophomore from the University of Washington by the name of Larry Owings pulled the rug out from under him.
Gable admits he got greedy, that his ego stepped in when his mind should have been in control. He also admits he sprang back from the Owings match stronger and more determined than ever. Of that crushing disappointment, he says.
This story is especially unique because so often we, as coaches and leaders, don’t want to show weakness, regrets, or vulnerability to our athletes. But our stories can be humanizing: often times athletes forget their coaches went through hard times, too. Bridging the relational gap between “us” and “them” is sometimes the best medicine for building team cohesion. Winning isn't only about our athletes maintaining tight relationships with one another, but how we've built and maintained our tight relationships with them.
“I wouldn’t have become a great wrestler and a great coach -- a legend in the sport -- without that match.” ~ Dan Gable
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In a short interview for Liberty Mutual’s Play Positive TM program, a program “committed to promoting good sportsmanship in youth sports,” US Olympic Wrestler Ellis Coleman shared his personal story about how he overcame multiple losses. The mental toughness of this then 20-year-old wrestler—who made the “Flying Squirrel” a famous move in his years building up to the 2012 Olympics - was put to the test in his first Olympic match in his athletic career.
Unfortunately, he lost his opportunity for an Olympic medal “in less time than it takes to check out at a grocery store.” Coleman got cocky about the “Flying Squirrel.” His overconfidence in his trademark move was his demise... at least in that competition. But with his winning attitude intact, today Coleman has reached a position with Team USA. Now that’s something to brag about.
On top of learning the danger of overconfidence and the power of persistence, Coleman took a third lesson from his loss: “hoping” isn't the same as “wanting.” I did everything right... I just didn't go out there and compete. I was hoping to win rather than wanting to win.
“If I wanted to be the best, I had to dust myself off and keep moving” ~ Ellis Coleman
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Even though it’s the loss that marked the beginning of an incredible 99-game winning streak for the University of North Carolina soccer team, it still stung. It stung bad. So bad that years - no, decades! - later, Mia Hamm, who was on the team that fateful day, recalls in an interview with ESPN how hard that loss was. But, she also recalls how sweet their “enacted revenge two months later” was.
Coincidence? I think not.
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Alex Westlund starts anew with fresh losses. When the hockey goalie ended his stunning career at Yale, he was used to winning. So, when he started with a new team in the ‘99-‘00 season after his graduation, losing had an even icier bite. But, the All-American took the losses in stride, saying, “To a certain extent, you have to let losing bother you... It's the only way that you can use it to affect you in a positive way in future games. In any situation, win or lose, it's important to analyze what went well or what went poorly.”
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A defensive end defends his team’s strength. Peter Sarantos, who led the Yale Bulldogs with 10 sacks in 1998, said that his teammates' ability to work as a unit helped pull them through some of the toughest parts of the season.
“After losses... It takes a special group of guys to put that behind you and move on.” ~ Peter Sarantos
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A Little League coach dresses wounds, wipes tears. In an uplifting video from ABC News, Washington, we’re shown how a little league coach encourages his athletes to handle loss: with their heads held high. I can only hope everyone had a coach when they were young who made it clear that it’s okay to feel hurt after a loss, but that it’s important to move past it, too. It’s both a heart wrenching and heartwarming note to end on, but one that I only hope you’ll take into your game.
Author and former Green Bay Packer Jerry Kramer explains how Vince Lombardi worked his players much harder in practice after a win than after a loss. It seems backward at first glance, but with a guy like Lombardi calling the shots we have to step back and wonder what he was up to. Turns out the coach felt a loss was a better indicator of the “fight in the dog” than a win would have been. In other words, when there was a loss and the athlete stopped fighting for the win that was the true test of their determination, drive, and spirit.
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Okay lang 'yan, Laban Pilipinas... PUSO (Sana sa susunod dagdagan din ng utak, hihi)