IT took a long time for post-war Pampanga to establish basic plumbing systems in most households.
Even the pre-war abodes of the affluent were not known for toilets that flush. Ordinary people got used to drop their waste to the earth below where free range pigs kept poopers quiet company below their “throne.”
It was not an unusual sight in those halcyon days of the ‘50s to see a pig appear in a public event, its head crowned with excreta. The parade marshals chased the unwanted participant, and if the animal belongs to a stubborn breed what a chaos it created among well-dressed guests.
I recall those years when communities were extremely under-populated. Most families engaged in backyard hog raising for livelihood. People did not really mind – or raised scandals against- the mobile germ carriers that roamed the poblacion unmolested.
This was the deplorable state of public hygiene decades earlier when food was scarce in the wartime. To prolong what rice was there, corn feed was introduced as a meal extender. The rice-corn mix was called “kisa” in the dialect. The grain fusion saved the generation of rice starved Pampangeños.
During the Japanese occupation free range pigs roamed the barrios and the heavy adornments on their heads was the result of “kisa” eaters who make heavier output for the bovine’s crowning glory.
I remember the goodwill visit of the Ambassador of Mexico to the Philippines to our town, probably curious of the lives and culture of a pueblo named after his country. Municipal mayor Marcos Padilla knew the place has no historical sites not even a tourism spot. So as not to make his place appear grossly primitive and impoverished before the Mexican envoy, the mayor (he was assassinated in the town’s cockpit in the early ‘60s) ordered owners of unpenned hogs confined to quarters.
“Que horror!” was the quiet utterance of the visitors upon learning the pueblo named after their nation does not speak Kastila.
When the Ambassador’s driver was unduly late for the team’s departure, his chief aide, unaware that the PA mike was still open, exclaimed “Puñeta!” certainly to the driver who went to play billiards somewhere.
Replied a voice in the noonday crowd, “Si señor, tira dos bandas para segurado!” The man was the poolroom operator in town. He meant, find the driver by searching twice around the block. Before departing, the Ambassador made a farewell speech. Suddenly appeared a stray pig, its heavy crown of excreta proudly perched on its head.
“Caramba!” His Excellency exclaimed. And the cabalen replied In tutored courtesy, “Muchas gracias, Senor.”
*****
From now on, Legal brains of Mr. Duterte should be put on a mandatory “kisa ”diet to take them more hours pooing, and consequently have more time to ponder on their strategies against Sen. Trillanes while seated on their thrones. Puneta’y banda!