WHEN I was younger, my hair was called many things: “kalkag,” “dry,” “gubot,” “chaka,” “maka-bruha,” and many more. “Beautiful” was never one of them – maybe at least until recently.
My parents decided to have my hair rebonded when I was 13 years old because they – and most people – thought that my hair was like a broom. It was ugly.
That was 2007, and the “straight hair is beautiful” campaign was starting to rise, together with the sarcastic question “mahangin ba sa labas (Is it windy outside)?”
I remember one tricycle driver ask me that question sarcastically after I got off from school. Talk about breaking a young girl’s heart.
There were also the lines “kulot salot” and that curly hair will make you look older.
I felt victimized by the campaign. Girls who didn’t have long, straight hair like those on TV were classified as ugly and unsightly.
After getting my hair “fixed,” I felt that how people saw me change.
Several months after I had my hair done, many were getting their hair straightened as well. I might have called that period the “Rebond Revolution.”
But while all the others had their hair shined and straightened, I was starting to lose my hair’s sheen and straightness.
A few months more, I return to being “ugly” because of my hair refused to be tamed once more. My self-esteem continued to sink.
In my first year of college, my sister took me to the salon for my birthday. Young college girls like us who barely had any money could only afford the hair relax treatment.
I felt a little better about myself.
But the magic faded after two months and the cycle began again – once more, I was ugly.
I can only watch in awe as girls flick their straight locks and dream that I can someday slay the “lugay” look. However, I cannot go out of the house without a hair clamp. I was afraid of what people might say about my hair again.
While young girls tied their hair to cute locks and pigtails, I had sulk because I can only have one or two hair-dos. I told myself that I may not able to become as cute as other girls.
On my third year, my sister decided to have my hair permed.
I thought that things will finally turn around for me when I got my curls, but then, people said that it was as if nothing happened. My hair was still and unruly as stiff as a broom.
I was tired.
And so, I let it go and let my hair grow.
Without giving any care to what other people said, I tried the “lugay” look on my wavy hair.
Years after I curled my hair, we wondered why my hair remained wavy-curly. We then found out that my hair was not meant to be straight all along. It was meant to be wavy with big curls. My genes were the ones talking.
My sister had my hair colored, and I was starting to get good word about my mane. People were starting to appreciate my hair that was not silky straight.
Now, I have grown my hair to my waist and am very happy about it. There are still times when it becomes dry and frizzy, but I am still loving every single strand.
People have their own standards of beauty. Sadly, this is often dictated by popular culture. For most, girls who do not look like those on TV is never beautiful.
Ladies, when the world tells you that your hair should be straight “just like everyone else,” go turn to the mirror and find that you can be – and you are – beautiful just the way you are.
Some people still tell me that I should try to get by hair rebonded, but my wavy hair told me that I am happy just the way my hair is—and how I look now.
I don’t have to look like somebody or anybody else. I am happy being myself.
rizsunio@gmail.com