Sunday Gospel Mark 10: 2-16
AT A time when relationships and commitments are taken for granted, at a time when people seem to measure relationships like we tend to value things – it was emotional to see my sister’s and her husband’s desire to witness to the world that love and commitment still matter #mayforever.
Pope Francis released an important apostolic letter, “Amoris Laetitia (AL)” on the “Joy of Love.” Here he said that, “The Joy of Love experienced by families is also the joy of the Church. As the Synod Fathers noted, for all the many signs of crisis in the institution of marriage, “the desire to marry and form a family remains vibrant, especially among young people, and this is an inspiration to the Church.”
Pope Francis said in the same letter, “I think, for example, of the speed with which people move from one affective relationship to another. They believe, along the lines of social networks, that love can be connected or disconnected at a whim of the consumer, and the relationship quickly ‘blocked’... We treat affective relationships the way we treat material objects and the environment: everything is disposable; everyone uses and throws away, takes and breaks, exploits and squeezes to the last drop. Then, goodbye.” (AL No. 39) Kung magpalit tayo ng forever parang nagpapalit lang tayo ng celphone. We replace persons just like we replace and update our smartphones.
As a priest, it is a privilege to not only witness the wedding of my sister but also to be able to officiate it for them. At their wedding day, I saw my beautiful sister stepped out of the car in her long white gown. She was beautiful and I saw my father smiling over us that moment. I walked my sister together with my mother. That day I did not lose a sister to a stranger but I gained a brother from a stranger.
Excerpts from my homily at my sister’s wedding: My father rarely says “I love you.” He rarely expresses his feelings except for anger. But it turns out when he does say, “I love you anak.” He really meant it. He chose to love. Para kang Tatay, ang gugma dili lang usa ka pagbati kung dili usa ka pagpili. Love is more than a feeling – it is a decision.
Marriage is never meant to be a happy ending – it is only the beginning of a life-long journey of discovering, accepting and growing into the persons you are meant to be not what you want the other person to be but what God meant you to be. In this journey expect not only the joys but also the pains of marriage. The language of love is sacrifice. There will be many opportunities for my sister and her husband to speak that language – a language perfected by Jesus Christ upon the cross.
Henri Nouwen wrote that “Marriage is not a lifelong attraction of two individuals to each other, but a call for two people to witness together to God’s love... [The] intimacy of marriage itself is an intimacy that is based on the common participation in a love greater than the love two people can offer each other. The real mystery of marriage is not that husband and wife love each other so much that they can find God in each other’s lives, but that God loves them so much that they can discover each other more and more as living reminders of God’s divine presence.
They are brought together, indeed, as two prayerful hands extended toward God and forming in this way a home for God in this world.” You cannot therefore, as individual persons rely on your own strength but in the grace of God to make your marriage work. When you pray, pray together and beg for that grace from God.
But many marriages do break and end up with separation. As a church of Christ, we are and should commit to help people, families and children in these difficult situations. Pope Francis reminds all that “The life of every family is marked by all kinds of crises, yet these are also part of its dramatic beauty. Couples should be helped to realize that surmounting a crisis need not weaken their relationship; instead, it can improve, settle and mature the wine of their union.” [AL 232]. Jesus believes in #mayforever but he looks after all in whatever situation they are in - divorced, remarried, single parents and all. And Jesus calls us to do the same - to care for all.