I was itching to tell the story of this brainy beauty, my zumba-mate Rica Aquino, when I saw the Stanford University certificate proudly displayed in her house. After all, not everyone in the world is privileged to pass this “Ivy League” school’s stringent qualification process and not everyone can afford it.
She maybe what city-folk would call promdi (from the province), but she is living proof that we country-bumpkins can rub elbows and succeed amidst the best of the lot. I thought it would be nice to find out how Ica “slayed” Stanford in California so that other kids can be inspired to dream big.
I felt a special affinity with Rica when we first met because she and I studied the same undergrad course in UP, albeit there’s almost two decades between our graduation dates (yes, I am way older). We both took up Communication Research, which is off the beaten path of Film, Journ, or Broadcasting and is fondly known as the “nerdy” side of Mass Comm. It’s not purely arts because the course requires proficiency in the scientific method of inquiry, economics, and statistics.
Unsung Hero
But what I thought would be a simple story about striving hard to reach ones dreams morphed into an even better one. Rica’s journey is very much intertwined with her mother’s tale, Angela. Theirs is an inspiring narrative of how love and resilience of the human spirit can triumph over adversity. Motherhood is one of the hardest roles any woman who bears children will ever play...and it is even tougher when you are forced to do it all alone. But Rica attests that her mom, Lulu (her nickname), carried on the torch of solo parenting with a lot of grace.
Rica, who is now a law student, said: “Did my mom struggle in the past? Yes. Does she still struggle at times? Absolutely. But she tries her best to juggle everything with God’s guidance and helping hand. My mom is all about perseverance. Mom is an active volunteer at our parish on top of being very busy with her career as an engineer. She is an unsung hero who raised me by herself at a time when everyone looked down on single-moms.”
The mental, emotional, and physical load of being the sole breadwinner and parent are enormous. There’s no let up on the demands and, unfortunately, tasks cannot be deferred because there’s simply no backup. But Rica proudly noted that challenges have never stopped Lulu from pushing forward and giving life everything she’s got, especially because she wants the best for her only child.
Rica shared, “I grew up my entire life having no dad. When I was young, I thought it was normal. I felt no stigma and I really had no problems because my mom provided for me well. Plus they’re 11 siblings so I had a lot of aunts and uncles who filled the void. I knew of my dad when I was in college already. I guess you can say—as an unfortunate MMK moment—when I finally saw my dad, he was already in his coffin. It was too late! But to me everything happens for a reason. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now, if it had been different. It humbles me and strengthens me at the same time, knowing I really can’t have it all in life. And it’s okay!”
Stanford journey
Rica, who has an International Management certificate (comprised of 3 courses) from Stanford University, shared, “My education there is not all free. It’s expensive! But I give all the credit to my mom for earnestly working hard to be able to give me that opportunity. It’s really a privilege to be able to study there even if it was just for a few months of my life. It’s my ‘I got accepted at an Ivy League school’ moment! I consider it a life achievement.” [Note: there are officially eight colleges in the NorthEast that’s Ivy League. Standford, in the West Coast, is fondly associated with them because they’re all extremely selective and exclusive.]
Her Ivy League dream is in part due to perfect timing and luck. She had no plans to do it yet but—“It was during the summer towards my senior year in UP when the academic calendar shift began. I had four months to spare. For the first month, I got accepted as communications intern at Coca Cola PH. Since I had more months of bum time, I googled for opportunities and chanced upon Stanford’s program. Application was tedious with requirements like my CV, transcripts, the personal essay statement, and IELTS (English proficiency exam). I had no IELTS so I had to wing it by saying that our first language is English. I really didn’t think I would make it with hundreds of applicants world wide, but surprisingly, I did.”
Being on campus was like living in a dream, where she has to pinch herself to believe that it was indeed really happening. Stanford had everything from—state of the art libraries, well-equipped classrooms, and the faculty who are the “cream dela cream” in their fields. But she said more than the academic component, the best elements she treasures are the friendships that she made. She recounted, “I’ve kept in touch, especially with my Singaporean friends. I have several friends from Spain, an Italian friend, two from the Netherlands, and one from Finland. We are from different cultures and we learned from each other.”
She was candid enough to admit that her stint there left her a bit homesick. The most important lesson, though, is that it made her more appreciative of her life in the Philippines. “Honestly, I had a trauma with the American life. I missed sinigang and bulad so much, that I binged on fries. It was the only food familiar to me. So I had it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We had buffet everyday. I gained 20 lbs,” she said with a wistful smile. “I had to work double time to burn those off!”
Highly adaptable
A graduate of Xavier University high school in CDO, adjusting to a new environment is nothing new to Rica. After all, she already learned to adapt while she was in UP. She said “That was the first time away from home. Although I was excited, I missed my quiet life and my mom. I had culture shock. One of the elective classes I ended up with was called Anthropology Sex and Culture. It was like a bit of sex education, and I got a low grade of 2.75. Haha!” (Passing mark is 3.)
She also said that the students rallying everywhere was something she wasn’t used to—“Sometimes the rally was a requirement, sometimes a nuisance, and sometimes the truth. Surprisingly, my biggest challenge really was how to pick up the Tagalog accent because for a while there, I wanted to belong. But I couldn’t stand how awful my grammar sounded like, and it didn’t seem anything like my Filipino classes with all the “samakatuwid;” so I started speaking in Bisaya. My classmates found it cute and I think they got so used to me mixing up Tagalog and Bisaya.”
The most amazing part of her journey is that she wasn’t able to fulfill her childhood dream of being a doctor, but she was able to transition into Law. She said: “I really wanted to become a doctor, but I had 2 failed NMAT (med school entrance exam) attempts. I took that as my sign to rethink my field. It was humbling, yes, but it also opened my eyes to new possibilities. I moved on to pass the PhilSat (law school entrance test). I learned that even if the legs of your chair aren’t complete, there’s a way to make it a chair, like a stool perhaps, and it still goes on to fulfil its purpose.”
The rejections she experienced early on toughened her up and gave her a more mature approach in the study of Law. She said: “After being exposed to the ‘real world,’ I gained a different perspective. I realized it’s not all about medals. Even in Stanford, they don’t just look for stellar grades, but they want a well-rounded individual! Now, I took up law school because I wanted to test myself. How far could I push myself? I was also influenced by my mother, who would always tell me that her life-long goal is to be able to leave this world knowing I am ready to be on my own, that even as I grow old, I would still be able to sustain myself.”
Without a doubt, Rica has made Angela proud and she still continues to make her mom proud. Both women are made of strong mettle and they are grounded by their strong faith. “It may have been my childhood dream to be a doctor. But you know, life’s full of surprises. You just never know where God is going to throw you. And clearly, He is in control,” Ica concluded with a bright smile, which is just as bright and dazzling as the dreams she’s working hard to turn into her reality.