EVERYBODY knows the formula to get a nervous breakdown. But in case you still don't know the steps, here they are:

1) Work, work, work. You know how they say work makes life more meaningful and worth living. Nothing can be truer. Work does get you through the day and working for others is probably the best remedy to old age. But when you work, work, work even while you're sleeping is probably the best way to an early grave.

2) Keep all your worries deep inside you. They say if you share your problems you're actually giving other people ammunition to use against you in the future. That, too, is true. So keep all those worries and little imperfections (in work or personal life) hidden so no one can hurt you.

3) Drink, a lot! Drinking gets you through those days when you just want to get a gun and pull the trigger. Drinking helps you forget the worries, which you keep deep inside you (heck, you don't trust anyone to share your worries in the first place, right?). Drinking will also get you to sleep, on those nights when work gets the better of you and you're starting to dream about the mundane concerns of the office.

4) Smoke, like a chimney. Smoking will help calm your nerves when the deadline is just around the proverbial corner. Smoking will also keep those annoying people at bay, heck you're gonna stink like an ashtray and no one will want to be beside you (which of course helps keep all those worries inside you).

5) Don't eat. Who needs food anyway? Food, especially the preparation and cooking of it, is a total waste of time. Better to bury yourself in work and forget eating, you can't afford it anyway with all the debt you incur with drinking all night long.

6) Be meticulous, take a hand in all jobs at the office. Since you're burying yourself in work might as well take the job of those others in your office who are not as workaholic as you are. Worry about their tasks because they don't.

7) Think gloomy thoughts. You're working your butt off and still people find things to criticize about your output... so you're going to get fired! If you get fired you can't afford to settle your drink bill. And where do are you going to get the next bottle? Since you're doing everybody's job, why aren't you getting their pay? This world is so unfair!!!!

Actually there are a lot more but my puny brain just refuses to work today so let's end this piece here for the meantime.

***

Deductive reasoning is probably the best way to come to a conclusion about the everyday things happening around us.

The latest deductive reasoning from the Vatican goes something like this:

Pope Benedict XVI is German. Pope Benedict XVI is our shepherd. Therefore, Pope Benedict XVI is our German shepherd. Hehehe, this is not my original, it actually comes from the Vatican and the Pope is laughing with those you say it.