IN A world that celebrates busy as a sign of status and success, I am thankful for the slow, unhurried, quiet moments that I get to spend with my kids. Our bonding episodes reinforce that the true measure of success is a happy home full of love, peace of mind, and contented heart.
I am eternally grateful for my bonus baby, Martin, who came a decade after his older sister, because he is the constant reminder for all of us in my family that busy is a myth and time spent together is the most important of all. If we want to make things happen, we can always find the time.
One of the activities in my day that I really allot time for is play time with my children, especially the youngest one because he is in his formative stage. It is vital that he is able to experience a happy childhood with his family prominently in the picture, so he will have a huge memory bank to draw from when the going gets tough in his teen and adult years. A lot of studies indicate that a happy childhood is associated with better social skills, enhanced self-esteem, healthier behavior, and a more positive outlook later in life.
When my teens were still young, gadgets were still not as prominent. Physical play outdoors, crafting/ art activities, or pretend play with toys were the standards of fun for most children. But nowadays, iPads/tablets are a strong, persistent force of entertainment to reckon with. I see them everywhere I go. Some days, I am also guilty of letting my youngest spend too much time on his iPad. As much as I want to ban him completely from gadget use, I cannot either. It is evident that we now live in a techie world, with smart gadgets offering conveniences. Being tech-savvy also has its benefits.
Instead of disallowing gadget use in my household, I am a proponent of mindful usage and controlled consumption. Since we parents are one of the last generations to both have an analog childhood and digital adulthood, and we are aware of the positives of both spectra, it is our job to provide this balance for our own kids.
For my youngest one, aside from the daily tickles and hugs, we’ve gotten into doing arts and crafts, sports, and game-boards. His current favorite is sidewalk chalk, which is a pretty cheap way to bond and spend an afternoon together. Multimedia can never replace learning with the five senses. When we give our children opportunities to explore the real world, it sparks their curiosity and fires up their imagination. There can never be an app to replace the kind of happiness these experiences bring.
In the tapestry of childhood memories, children of course can readily recall the big stuff such as birthday parties, trips overseas, and the holidays. Personally, my trip to Disney World in Florida as a child with my family will always be a favorite memory. But more than the big events, what I treasure are the consistent gestures of love that my parents showed me day in and day out.
The material things don’t take the limelight, but it’s the sweet daily moments like my mom preparing my breakfast pandesal every morning. It’s the weekly routine like my dad buying me taho on weekends, going to anticipated mass on Saturdays, our Friday movie dates, etc. On top of that, it’s experiences like my parents asking me and my brother on whim to go to Shakey’s at around 830pm in our pajamas that made the most impact.
It’s also the simple stuff like sapin-sapin (rice cake) that brings happy memories. My dad is the type who brings home lots of food from work when I was little, and this humble delicacy was always present. I can imagine him stopping to buy it, and thinking I am going to get this for my daughter because she loves it. In that moment, in the busyness of his day, he paused and thought of me. And he did so because he wanted to make me happy. It’s indeed the little things! We all need this kind of love in our life.
Going back to the basics is an essential component in raising happy children. Simplicity is a rare gift in our very modern world; and it’s something we have to strive for our kids to experience, especially when excessive gadget consumption is the norm. Unfortunately, the latter leads to an unfocused, overstimulated child, with tired eyes and sullen demeanor. Thus, it is imperative to remember that nothing can beat the old school traditions when it comes to memory making. This downtime is actually beneficial as it establishes our connection with our kids. And what could be more important than this connection? Spending time with our children is never a mistake!