M: George asks... In a relationship, when can you say you’ve had enough? When can you say it’s time to move on? The answer? It depends. On what? On you—your patience, your circumstances, your readiness to let go. When you’ve had enough of enough, you’ll know.
DJ: Loving someone makes the person more attractive, intelligent or desirable than he or she really is. How many people you know have looked at their ex and said, “Wow, what was I thinking?” It is quite common to be in love with the idea of what a person can be or should be, particularly if one is already deeply invested in the relationship in terms of time, resources or emotion. It’s already hard to tell whether one is reading into things too much or is seeing things as they are, whether it’s time to let go or to try harder. Now given the limited information George gave, I’ll say that if they’re still both committed to make the relationship work, he can consider trying harder. But if it’s just him kicking like fish in a block of ice, perhaps it’s time to let go and move on.
M: Sometimes, we keep on trying even if it hurts. Sometimes, we hurt even if we don’t even try. Relationships are complex because, though life can be simple, change brings complications.
DJ: Changes in what, Mic? I guess you lost me there. The wise would often point out that if a person’s action is in constant conflict with his or her word, believe his or her action instead. Words can be deceiving because people sometimes lie even to themselves. George has better chances of knowing the truth based on what she really is doing. Is he already in a position where he’s constantly defending her choices to others or even to himself? It’s good to be compassionate to others but he needs to be compassionate with himself too. People who love him will encourage him to grow. They know that he, too, deserves to be in healthy relationships with people who treat him well.
M: Never give up is a good thing to do but so is let go and let God. Try and try until you succeed is a good way to go but failure is not a failure if you learn something from it. Move on and move out not when things go wrong but when nothing seems right anymore.
DJ: As they say, a relationship is like glass too. Sometimes it’s best to leave it broken than hurt yourself further by trying to put the broken pieces back together. Being with someone hurtful and neglectful will only make George less empowered and disrespected, which isn’t good in the long run. So if he thinks after months of painful frustration and endless drama that his partner no longer cares, maybe it’s time he should believe her.