M: Winston is a relatively successful banker in Australia who is in the Philippines for a vacation. His family has a hardware store and his dad has now asked him to take over the family business. He’s an only child and his father is not getting any younger. Take it or leave it?
DJ: I learned that the first and second generation of business owners are focused in building and growing the business, inadvertently putting the pressure on the third generation to carry on and preserve the legacy. Winston did not specify which generation he is in but it looks like he is feeling the pressure as an only child to take the reins of a business he did not choose. He can learn what the business is about, the value it advances, the difference it’s making, then decide. His parents might have the best intentions but the decision will still have to ultimately come from him. No one wants to disappoint his or her family but it should also not be at the expense of one’s personal and professional happiness.
M: When my dad suffered a stroke when I was in third year law school, he thought of selling our then 30-year-old business because he said it was a stressful, labor intensive, male-dominated business that was not for women. My younger sister, who was already working in our business, and I asked our dad to give us a chance to help run it. This year, we are a 53-year-old security agency. Our dad passed away four years ago, eight months before we celebrated our golden anniversary. Though we felt very sad that he was not able to celebrate our 50th year, we still felt happy that we were given many years to help him in the business that he started. Yes, there is a sense of obligation to help continue your family business. But if you are not passionate about it, or clearly not interested or maybe not even qualified, there is no point to handle or manage it yourself.
DJ: Winston was out in Australia building his banking career while his parents were busy making the business a success. His sense of responsibility can bring him back, but it’s likely not enough for him to sustain or grow the business if it’s not aligned to his strengths and passion. Loving what he does is an important component for him to excel. I suggest that after he learns more about what the business is about, he take a step back and ask himself why he wants to consider taking over the business or to continue with his banking career overseas—the pros and cons—and how a transition is possible or impossible.
M: Whatever your decision, at the end of the day, your father will respect your choice. And if he does not, maybe being forced to consider someone else to help him run or take over the business, will let your dad see the other possibilities which he may have failed to consider.
DJ: While the hardware business is a good opportunity for Winston to consider, this dilemma can actually help him better understand his passion and how he can further forge his path. Whatever his decision will be, at least he’ll be moving forward with better clarity on what his strengths are, what matters to him the most and how he can leverage on these two to add value to the world.