ANYTHING and everything that an in-law does has an impact on the family, business and ownership ecosystems.
If the oft repeated statement “Till death do us part” is somewhat passé, the testimony of a father heaping praises on his future in-law and declaring to all and sundry that “I have lost a daughter but gained a son,” all but confirm the doomsday scenario of an in-law lost in the jungle collectively known as family and business.
In my years advocating governance among Asian family enterprises, I have always espoused the importance of family members maintaining harmonious relationships but all too often the entry of an in-law is ignored and inevitably the problems surface. Personally, in-law entry is an additional complexity that must be managed before marriage.
With the rising number of relationships going astray and couples filing for divorce or separation, families that do not plan the entry of in-laws will almost always end up experiencing twice the emotional baggage--a strained relationship with the married offspring and in-law behavior affecting the entire family, business and ownership ecosystem.
Just like all problems that arise among family members due to the overlapping functions, planning ahead to avoid a possible in-law clash in the future is the best option.
Pre-nuptial agreement is a good antidote
A pre-nuptial agreement (pre-nup) would be the most appropriate instrument to manage the entry of in-laws but culturally, for most countries in Asia, a pre-nup is still considered far from being an acceptable legal tool. Some parents even unfairly label the pre-nup as taboo and inappropriate, as it compels the “future half” to sign a pre-marital agreement. In the Philippines where my consulting office has major presence, traditional family-owning businesses look at a pre-nup as not just unacceptable but “unFilipino.”
Critically, business owners/parents must look beyond just love, marriage and the siring of their future grandchildren. They must also anticipate uncertainties like failed marriages leading to separation and death of the family member ahead of the in-law.
These crisis events have far reaching implications on the enterprise. Having a pre-nup gives the family certain safety nets that will enable the business to overcome potential in-law issues and move forward.
Wikipedia thoroughly defined prenuptial agreement, ante-nuptial agreement, or premarital agreement as a “contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union, or any agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well.”
A case of in-law conflict
There was a case of an in-law married to the son of the company’s founder. The daughter in-law was an accounting graduate, extremely talented and was exposed for so many years working in a bank as a branch officer. Given her business exposure, she was immediately entrusted with the management of the firm’s finances. The business grew, along with her greed. On the side, she secretly established her own trading company appointing her distant relatives as dummies, doing secret deals with suppliers and buyers in direct competition with her father-in-law’s business.
Deliberately, she was also using the company’s money to purchase materials. Not long after, her cheating ways were discovered by one of her brothers-in-law and after a brief meeting, she was promptly removed.
To be continued.