A WEEK from now, we will be observing “All Saints’ Day’ followed by “All Souls’ Day” which bring to mind the Filipino tradition of honoring our dearly departed. As years go by, coping with the loss of someone we love is very difficult but has made me humble one way or the other; I suppose with you, too. In particular, I lost my father and my husband a long time ago already.
We have to resign to the fact that grief is a natural response to loss and could be very emotional. We should not be ashamed to grieve. The more significant the loss, the more difficult the process of getting over the grief. The pain could be so deep which oftentimes results in depression setting in. Coupled with depression is the loss of will to live.
There are healthy ways to cope with the pain which in time could ease the sadness and help us come to terms with our loss, find new meaning and move on.
*Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
*Seek out support from people who care about you and spend time with them.
*Recognize the difference between grief and depression.
*Exercise: go to the gym, brisk walk or learn a sport. Exercise releases happy hormones.
*Learn something new - a foreign language, cook new recipe, study, dance, etc.
*Be prayerful and ask help from the Divine. God alone fills the emptiness of the human heart.
Another thing, I realized that nobody lasts forever but a good reputation will last forever. And people who have no problems are those who are dead. Thus, as long as we are alive, we might as well consider problems as opportunities for our progress. And the only people who are in full agreement are dead people, for they do not have the life or energy to disagree.
Therefore, we who are alive have disagreements and can become disconnected in our relationships. Then how do we stay connected and make our relationships flourish? We ought to know how to handle disagreements agreeably.
*Courtesy and respect are still the lubricant for mutual understanding.
*Being rude, arrogant, brash and vulgar as seen in many movies are mere pretensions in its sound stage and is not real.
*We need to cultivate effective communication skills and this is easier achieved when we develop people skills.
*Disagreements should not be considered as a personal affront against you.
*You do not have to be right all the time. There is something wrong with you if you think, feel, act right all the time.
*You do not always have to have the last word. Some people need to have the last word even if their argument is logically flawed.
*There are things we can always learn through disagreements and being corrected is a great way for improvement.
All of the above can be effective ways to cope with grief and to recover again.