Sunio: Can’t teach us how to be a woman

THEY tell us women to act like a woman because we are women – and tell us that we are not when we do otherwise.

A friend of mine is getting married in November. Growing up in a conservative society, her parents were too strict with her affairs, who she is with, as well as the time for her to leave or stay in their house.

Now that she is about to get married, we decided to go out to Iligan City from Marawi to celebrate her engagement.

As a treat, my friends and I took her on a normal but rare night-out among us professionals after work – no liquor, no parties. Just quality talk among teachers (and a former teacher, me).

A few hours later, she got worried about the time and started to look around. She said some of her relatives might see her and scold her for being out late.

I tried to also check what was around us: No liquor or parties either. What are her conservative relatives supposed to be intrigued about with her being here?

She was afraid of what they will think of a woman who is about to get married and is still out in the streets at 9 p.m.

I got pissed at the idea alone.

If she was still a single professional and she was found in a restaurant with a group of men and women at 9 p.m., her relatives would be enraged.

Now, if she was already married and is also found in that restaurant with the same group at the same time, I don’t think her relatives will be less angry.

So, even without liquor, smokes, or disco lights, what’s a girl supposed to do to be allowed to go out with friends? Does she have to remain single? To get married? To have kids?

Even a mother cannot go out and enjoy at night because she is expected to be a mother, and only be a mother, 24//7.

But when men do it, it is fine.

If the woman gets involved in an accident or is assaulted late at night, people will then point to her “mistake” of refusing to be caged in her home.

Sure, prudence might have been absent that time, but it’s not like these women summoned bad luck to their side or would go out late at night every night.

The unfortunate things that happen to women is often blamed on their gender – and then scolds them for not being a “proper girl.”

The subtle message is that your gender is your bondage, and you are bound to your fate of obeying the social norms because you are a woman.

People are not supposed to dictate us how to become a woman and how to live like one. (rizsunio@gmail.com)

Trending

No stories found.

Just in

No stories found.

Branded Content

No stories found.
SunStar Publishing Inc.
www.sunstar.com.ph