A LOT has been written about this quaint little country since they have made it accessible for Filipinos to visit without a visa. As I write this, I am plopped on my hotel bed with aching feet that feel more like dead logs because we just walked all over the city center in our mad dash for our kids to see all the highlights in their short sembreak.
Personally, it is not my first time in this city. I was around 9 when my parents first took me here to Taipei (what it was referred to then in the 80s). And really, Taiwan has progressed by leaps and bounds compared to our beloved Philippines. In terms of cleanliness, order, discipline, transportation, and more, we are a goner. As common folk would fondly say, “Anyare?!”
If you have the time and the money, consider planning a trip here because there are many scenic spots both in and outside the city to enjoy, and of course, the food is delish. On top of that, prices for accommodations, transpo, food, etc. in Taiwan are cheaper compared to other Asian countries like HK, Singapore, Malaysia, Japan, and Korea.
Some say that the Pinoy visa-exemption will be until July of 2019, unless the government decides to extend their policy again. What we are enjoying now is already an extension. So, please do read up on the million Taiwan detailed travel guides scattered all over the world wide web, with pricing, transpo routes, time suggestions, and book that trip.
I don’t really keep tabs of where each of my penny goes to when we are away on vacation, so this article is not a travel guide. It is more of a musing about relationships because traveling, though fun, can cause friction between couples. No matter how much you love each other, there will be stressful and unexpected situations whilst on vacation that can bring out the ugly beast.
In between our Taiwan activities, my one and only bitter-half, er better-half, and I had heated discussions about our plans for some days. Since we both believe we are brilliant, we frequently butt heads with each other. Yep, that’s actually a normal occurrence since we are polar opposites, too. Carinyo brutal!
But then again, no relationship is perfect because the individuals in it aren’t either. When you decide to love someone, you can’t just pick his qualities that you like and tell yourself that you’ll make him your project, so he can change for the better. If that’s your attitude, then your marriage/ relationship will be an uphill battle as you’re acting like a psychologist or a social worker. He’s had a whole lifetime before he met you, so don’t have grand illusions that he will easily change his ways just because you ask him to. This goes both ways for the woman, too.
After being married for 17 years (21 counting the bf-gf stage), I have long come to the conclusion that the only time you can change a man is when he is in his diapers. After that, tough luck! If he wants to change, it has to come from within. And besides, when you love a person, you just don’t love the qualities that you like, you have to love him totally...all of him, warts, farts, and all. (And, of course, he has to do the same for you to make the relationship thrive).
With the many years of living together with my spouse, the best foot is no longer forward. Our “concealer” has definitely run out. There’s no need to hide blemishes (not just pimples but personality flaws) and no more pretensions. The sweet talks can turn into trash talking on any given toxic day. Holding doors have sometimes turned into slamming them on each other’s faces. The early days of romantic dinners, flowers, and monthsaries have morphed into home cooking, plant your own flowers if you want them, and hey “don’t forget it’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow!”
When you get married, have kids, work on your career, clean the house, and do errands here and there, it can be hard to find time for romance. Life has really evolved! On top of that, there are self-issues to contend with—the cellulites that have sprung, the multiplying white hairs, and the wrinkles that refuse to budge. The shopping for fashion has taken a backseat to grocery shopping. Sometimes, in the hecticness of life, it can be hard to stop and it is difficult to smell the roses.
And this is why they say love is a decision! You choose each other and you have to keep choosing each other even through the bad days. You have to say I DO each day, even when the going gets tough, and even if it would be easier to just quit. Loving someone when you’ve seen him in his most unlovable form is the true love that they wax poetic about in storybooks.
I may have lost the romantic fizzle as the years went by, but for everything that I thought was gone, I have gained something far better—a husband, who’s my rock, the love of my children, and a happy heart that swells at life’s simple joys. The grand gestures may have waned but it’s the little things my husband does like checking my tires, asking me constantly if my wallet needs a refill, or buying me my fave fish because I am clueless when it comes to seafood that are the moments when I feel it. And feeling loved makes loving my one and only so much easier.